The GAP Murder Mystery: Blood on the Shop Floor: part 1

Blood on the Shop Floor: Part One

Starring:

Jake Gyllenhaal as Anis

George Clooney as Khus

Alicia Silverstone as Lauren

Christopher Walken as Isis

Anthony Anderson as Blake

Heath Ledger as Oscar

Whitney Huston as Doreen

Queen Latifah as Marigold

Sylvester Stallone as Ana

Robert Knepper as Pardeep

David Cross as Ramsey

Michael Cera as David

Kanye West as Joel

Eva Mendes as Cleo

Jada Pinkett-Smith as Sabrina

Nestor Carbonell as Matt

Christian Bale as Dominik

Christian Slater as Ibrahim

Jennifer Hudson as Delicia

Erik King as Loic

Poojah Shah as Shafa

Salma Hayek as Shabana

Kathy Bates as

SCENE 1: INT A RETAIL STORE’S MEN’S SECTION IN FRONT OF STAIRS. GATHERED ARE RAMSEY, KUSH, ANIS, MATT, BLAKE, LAUREN, ISIS, ANA, DELICIA, OSCAR, IBRAHIM, MARIGOLD, DAVID, LOIC, DOMINIK, PARDEEP, DOREEN, SHAFA AND SHABANA. EVERYONE IS GROUCHY.

LAUREN: UGH!!...She’s such a loser.

MATT: Unbelievable.

PARDEEP: She’s a little bitch, man

IBRAHIM: I know

MATT: I honestly wish she was dead, she’s such a Dickface

MARIGOLD: I really don’t see the point of this, she can’t keep us here all night

DOREEN: Yeah, though, what’s actually going on, because this is ridiculous

LAUREN: Who do you reckon actually did it?

ANA: She probably did it herself just so she could keep us behind

SHAFA: I think Kush did it (giggles)

(EVERYBODY LAUGHS)

OSCAR: I don’t know who did it, but it’s one of the people here. Maybe is Karen, I don’t know

ANIS: This is a fucking joke, she can’t keep us here all night, what the hell’s taking her so long? Keeping us after work, we’re not fucking in year 6

MATT: Yeah, we’re not fucking 10 years old

DAVID: Yeah, we’re not…fucking…in school

(LAUREN, SHAFA, ISIS, AND ANA LAUGH SOFTLY)

MATT: She’s such a bitch, man, how does this help anybody? The gimp who did it isn’t going to come forward (looks at watch) she’s been down there for half an hour.

BLAKE: I’m so bored

MATT: A-Z game?

LAUREN: Alright

MATT: What category?

DELICIA: Let’s do animals

MATT: Alright cool, everybody, let’s go round, everybody, who wants to start?

IBRAHIM: I’ll start…A…A, man…I’ve gone blank, wait, animal, ah this is hard man, wait, er, Arachnid

SHABANA: Bird

DOMINIK: Er, sorry, no, sorry, no, sorry, you do, sorry, no

SHAFA: Cat

DAVID: Dog

DOREEN: Egg

ANIS AND MATT: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

OSCAR AND MARIGOLD: Doreen!

LAUREN AND RAMSEY: Egg??

BLAKE: Oh my god, man, this game’s sick

MATT: Wait, are we allowed music? Let me go get my laptop

OSCAR: I don’t think so

LAUREN: Noooooo don’t play your gay music

MATT: Ah come on, she’s taking forever

ANIS: His music’s not gay, Lauren

DOREEN: Yeah, Lauren

IBRAHIM: Go get your laptop, is new Lost out?

OSCAR: No I don’t want to be spoiled

ANA: Yeah, me too

MATT: Look I wont spoil anything

PARDEEP: You got new Prison Break? nah I’ll watch it at home

DAVID: Prison Break’s finished

PARDEEP: When’s Heroes coming back?

ANIS: Heroes is shit

MATT: Nah, I’m gonna go get my laptop, I’m bored shitless.

MATT LEAVES

DOREEN: Are we still doing A-Z?

LAUREN: …fish

ISIS: I’ve got one for G

ANA: Gorilla

ISIS: Now I’m on H, what animal begins with an H?

DAVID: Hamster

IBRAHIM: Well now she can’t get it, that was the only one that begins with H

EVERYBODY THINKS

PARDEEP: I’m gonna get a drink

SHAFA: Get me one, please

PARDEEP: Negative

PARDEEP LEAVES

MATT RETURNS WITH LAPTOP

OSCAR: You got Lost on there?

MATT: Does Annie turn me on?

ANIS: Ah Annie…

MANY LOOK AT DAVID, DAVID SHAKES HIS HEAD AND LOOKS AT HIS FEET. HE LOOKS UP GRINNING SHEEPISHLY.

DAVID: Yes, Annie

RAMSEY: Oh yeah, you, like, loved her didn’t you?

MATT: And so did any straight man and lesbian in this godforsaken place

ANIS: She was amazing

MARIGOLD: Who is this Annie, I never saw her,

ANA: Yeah that’s because David asked her out

ASSEMBLED PEOPLE LAUGH

LAUREN: And scared her off

RAMSEY: David’s such a player

LAUREN: Hardly, she must have been terrified because she left the next day.

MATT: Come to think of it, this a scary place, you always get smelly Arabs giving you dirty looks,

LAUREN: Remember Alex?

ANIS: Ugh and Kamil

MATT: Not to mention Sam

SHABANA AND LAUREN LAUGH. IT TAKES SHAFA A LITTLE LONGER TO REMEMBER THE HORROR OF SAM BEFORE SHE SAYS

SHAFA: Oh god Sam, he was so gay

PARDEEP RETURNS. DOREEN BEGINS PLAYING WITH OSCAR’S HAIR

PARDEEP: Ah Sam, the best manager, man

ANIS: You must be joking

MATT: He’s right, Sam Barnes WAS the coolest manger, Karen comes second

OSCAR: Oh my god, you remember his surname?

LAUREN: I’d give anything to have him back: ‘Ooooonnnhhh’

SHAFA: Instead of this fat bitch

ANIS: Ooo out come the claws, that’s chappin’ bruuuuuv

MATT: Cha’mean?

MATT AND ANIS: Abaaaaaaaht

LAUREN: That’s so random

ANIS: And so’s yer face

LAUREN: You’re so stupid

EVERYBODY ELSE: And so’s yer face!

ANIS STANDS UP

ANIS: Does anyone want anything from the vending machines?

SHAFA: A coke please

LAUREN: I want some chocolate

ANIS: You want some chocolate? Hear that Ramsey? Lauren wants some chocolate, that’s your cue.

MATT: ’Allo, ’allo, ’allo

ANIS: Shafa, you can buy the drink yourself

IBRAHIM: What?

LAUREN: Oi, I thought you’re meant to be her husband

ANIS: I’m joking

ANIS LEAVES

IBRAHIM: Matt, put Lost on

LAUREN: Noooooooo, put Rapper’s Delight on

MATT: Ah gay, my battery died

BLAKE: You say gay a lot, you know that?

MATT: What’s your point, just because I say it resplendently abundantly it doesn’t necessarily mean I am

ANA: Why the long words?

BLAKE: My point is that we’re all here because someone graffitied ‘Karen’s gaaaaaaaaaaaaay’ on the fridge, and I think it was you

MARIGOLD: It was you, wasn’t it?

MATT REDDENS

MATT: It definitely wasn’t me…TRUST!

ISIS BURPS. MANY LOOK AT HER. DOMINIK IS DISGUSTED AND GIVES HER A DIRTY LOOK

ISIS: Sorryyyy

OSCAR: Isis, you so rude

ISIS FARTS

PARDEEP: Oh my god!

BLAKE: Rah girl, go to the toilet or something.

ISIS THINKS STAYING THERE AMIDST THE FUG IS A BAD IDEA AND GOES.

ANA: Yeah, I’m going too

IBRAHIM EVACUATES AND ANA LEAVES. LAUREN LOOKS BORED. EVERYBODY ELSE WRINKLES THEIR NOSE AT THE SMELL

MATT: Well I guess the saying’s true: big things come in small packages

NO ONE LAUGHS. ANIS RETURNS.

ANIS: God, what the hell is that?

MATT: Remember that dream I had where Ana farted and everybody had to evacuate?

LAUREN: That was so random

SHAFA: Randooooom

LAUREN: Randooooom

MATT AND ANIS MOCKINGLY: Randooooom

DAVID: Where the hell is this bitch?

MANY ARE AMAZED

SHAFA: That’s so big of you David

MATT (TO ANIS): I think she means vehement

DOREEN: He’s right, though, why hasn’t she come up the stairs?

DAVID: I’m going to march right down there…and…march her right up here…mark my…words…dammit

MATT: Good luck

DAVID MARCHES DOWN TO THE MANAGERS OFFICE UNSEEN

ISIS RETURNS

ISIS: Where’s David going?

RAMSEY: He’s going to slay the dragon

ISIS: He’s wanking?

LAUREN, SHAFA, MATT AND ANIS TITTER

PARDEEP: He’s gone to get the Bitch

ANIS: Isis, man, perhaps you should seek some help with your internal plumbing, y’kn’a’m’say’n?

KHUS: Is it ok if I go over here?

MATT: Yeah, Isis, Lauren says your new nickname is Bagpipe

LAUREN: What?? No I didn’t!

MATT: Shut up, Lauren!

ANIS: Yeah, shut up Lauren!

PARDEEP: Yeah, give it a rest Lauren!

EVERYONE JOINS IN

OSCAR AND RAMSEY: Lauren!

SHAFA: (DOING AN IMPRESSION OF GUILIANA) Laaaaaaaareeenn

LAUREN IS UNABLE TO PROTEST BECAUSE SHE IS LAUGHING

MARIGOLD: Yeah, Lauren, giving her nicknames

ISIS: Why are you sooo mean?

ANIS: Chamean?

MATT AND ANIS: Abaaaaaaaht!!

ANA COMES UP THE STAIRS

ANA: Are we all taking the mick out of Lauren or something

RAMSEY: No, Lauren was taking the piss out of Isis, as usual

LAUREN: I was not!! Ugh!!! You’re all such a bunch of loooooooosers

MATT AND ANIS: Suuuuuuuubaaaaa!!!

EVERYBODY LAUGHS

LAUREN: Ugh!!

SHE GOES DOWNSTAIRS TO COOL OFF FOR A BIT.

MATT SPOTS DELICIA LAUGHING AND IMMEDIATELY PUTS ON A STERN EXPRESSION

MATT: What are you laughing at?

DELICIA STOPS LAUGHING, PERTURBED. MATT GIVES HER A HARD STARE BEFORE CRACKING UP LAUGHING. DELICIA ROLLS HER EYES.

DAVID COMES BACK UP THE STAIRS

OSCAR: David, how did it go?

DAVID: Ah I couldn’t do it, what if she shouted at me for bothering

SHAFA: Wait, someone just explain why we’re here again.

BLAKE: Someone graffitied ‘Karen’s gaaaaaaaay’ on the wall, and as punishment we have to stay behind.

SHAFA: So we’re being punished? But this is fun isn’t it? I’m having a good time.

ANIS: Yeah, I enjoy the company and everything, but this is wrong,

PARDEEP: It’s an intrusion, that’s what it is

ANIS: Some of us have homes to go to, it’s overstepping her boundaries. She does my head in, man ‘You’re all going to stay until the guilty person admits to it. If people think they have a right to damage company property, they can either stay the night or they can leave and never come back’

SHABANA: I wish she would leave and never come back

ANIS: Oooo I see what you did there: clever.

OSCAR: That’s mean

ANIS: No, I’m seriously pissed off, I’m fumin’, it’s 11.30 on Saturday, I should be at home watching Match Of The Day, I haven’t even called my mum to tell her I’m going to home late,

SHAFA: She IS a bitch

ANIS: I’m starving, asides from breakfast I’ve only had some Maccy Ds and this Twix. It’s this stupid management, man, every week someone gets an ROC, we’re never on target, why the hell hasn’t she been sacked?

BLAKE: If only someone graffitied a message slagging her off?

ANIS: Look, I’m just as pissed as you are, ok, this is no way to sort out an unruly store, if she was a better manager, none of us would even be here.

ANA: He has got a point

MATT: It’s so true, she’s such a fucking bitch

ISIS: Yeah she’s worse than Heather Mills

ANA: Oh god I hate that woman,

MARIGOLD: Yeah, she’s vile

DELICIA: Did you hear about how she wanted to adopt some Malawian baby

MATT: Aren’t you thinking of Madonna?

OSCAR: Yeah that’s Madonna

ISIS: Madonna’s just as bad

MATT: They actually look pretty similar

PARDEEP: They look nothing like each other

ANA: Yeah, they look nothing like each other

MATT: Well Delicia got them confused - racism

SHAFA: Didn’t Madonna go out with Vanilla Ice or something

MATT: Before our time

RAMSEY: No I think that was Gary Busey

ANIS: Gary Busey was in Lethal Weapon

MARIGOLD: What happened to Vanilla Ice? He was really big at one time

DOREEN: Didn’t he lose all his money and have to become a security guard?

DAVID: That’s Gary Coleman

MATT: You’re only saying that because that was in an episode of the Simpsons

DAVID: No it’s true, his parents took all his money and he had to sell all his old T-Shirts

MATT: I’m pretty sure you’re getting him mixed up with Macaulay Culkin and Screech from Saved by the Bell

OSCAR: No Macaulay Culkin didn’t lose his money, it was his virginity to Michael Jackson

MARIGOLD: We’ll come back to that in a sec, yeah didn’t Screech have to go on Celebrity Fit Club

ANIS: See that pisses me off that title, they aren’t celebrities

ANA: You don’t think Screech is a celebrity?

ANIS: They aren’t fit

PARDEEP: Definitely not

MATT: No way

ANIS: And it’s not a club

ISIS AND DELICIA: True

THEY LAUGH

MATT: Well did he win on Fat Club?

LOIC: You can’t ‘win’ on Fat Club

MATT: What’s the point of watching a reality TV show if there’s no winner

DAVID: TV companies love Reality TV because they don’t have to hire writers

MARIGOLD: Fat Club was interesting because people get all stroppy

ANIS: Like when Rik Waller was on it

MATT: What happened then?

SHAFA: He got thrown off

MATT: Why

SHAFA: Because he was too fat

RAMSEY: Whoa he was too fat to be on Fit Club?

PARDEEP: That’s a diss

OSCAR: No he was evicted because of his attitude

MATT: The hat he chewed? What a fat bastard, he ate someone’s hat? Was it at some horserace and Carmen Miranda happened to stop by?

OSCAR: No, ‘attitude’

MATT: Oh ‘attitude’, man alive, that would have been excessive

MARIGOLD: I remember when Rik Waller was on it

ISIS: He was so fat

LAUREN RETURNS

LAUREN: Who was so fat?

ANIS: Your face

LAUREN: Ugh!!

LAUREN LEAVES

DAVID: yeah you don’t win on that show I think

MATT: Poor Screech, man

ANA: Child stars always get messed up

RAMSEY: True – Macaulay Culkin

ANIS: Corey Feldman

DAVID: Gary Coleman

SHAFA: Michael Jackson

ISIS: Lindsay Lohan

BLAKE: Emma Watson

KHUS: It’s interesting, the surnames all end in ‘n’

MARIGOLD: Charlotte Church

MATT: I wouldn’t say she’s messed up

SHAFA: Yeah she is

MATT: Well if she’s messed up, Ben Savage is

ANA: Who?

ISIS: Trust Matt to come up with some obscure actor no one’s ever heard of

MATT: Come on, Ben Savage!

ANIS: Who the fuck’s that?

MATT: Fred Savage’s brother

SHAFA: Oh like we all know who he is

MATT: Come on! David, you must know who he is

DAVID: The name rings a bell

MATT: LAUREN!!

LAUREN SHOUTS BACK A MUFFLED ‘WHAT’

MATT: Come here!

LAUREN COMES UP THE STAIRS

MATT: They don’t know who Ben Savage is

LAUREN: You don’t know who Ben Savage is?

MARIGOLD: Never heard of him

LAUREN: He plays Corey in Boy Meets World

PARDEEP: That show hasn’t been on for time

OSCAR: What’s Boy Meets World?

LAUREN: You’ve never heard of Boy Meets World? It was on the Disney Channel

OSCAR: We don’t have in Spain.

BLAKE: Yeah child actors really are screwed

ANIS: …by Michael Jackson

LAUREN: The keyholder?

ANA: What’s a keyholder?

DAVID: He meant the actor

ANA: The actor?

DAVID: Sorry, singer

LAUREN LOOKS AT ANA AND NOTICES ANA STARING AT DOREEN PLAYING WITH OSCAR’S HAIR

LAUREN: Are you still playing with his hair?

DOREEN: It’s lovely

MATT: Doreen’s gaaaaaaaay

BLAKE: It was you who did the graffiti, wasn’t it?

MATT: Hey where’s Youssfe?

LAUREN: Are you ever going to call him Ibrahim?

MATT: Never

OSCAR: He’s been gone for a long time, I’ll go look for him

SHAFA: So back to the original point, that fat bitch downstairs is worse than Heather Mills?

IBRAHIM: Nothing’s worse than that fat bitch downstairs

MATT: Youssfe!! Where have you been?

IBRAHIM: No where

ISIS: Oscar just went looking for you

PARDEEP: Why is there blood on you?

IBRAHIM: What? Where?

PARDEEP: There, on your shoulder

ANA: Yeah, where’d that come from?

IBRAHIM: Don’t worry, it’s not mine

IBRAHIM LAUGHS. A FEW PEOPLE SMILE

IBRAHIM: No I got it earlier, I tripped in the stockroom, there was a bag of pins on the shelf where I fell back on them, innit.

LOIC: I hate that place.

RAMSEY: Yeah, that place has some danger areas, Ibrahim, watch yourself

ISIS: Oh my god what are we waiting for? I wish Chloe was here so we could sing ‘Why Are We Waiting?’

LAUREN: How is not having Chloe here stopping you? Whyyy are we waaaaiting

ISIS: Is it just imitaaaating

ANIS: Cos I’m the real Shaaaaady

MATT HIGH FIVES ANIS.

DELICIA: Can we just lie, and say that we all did it. I wanna go home

PARDEEP: Haha, poor Oscar, he’s still looking for Ibrahim.

IBRAHIM: He’s going to be looking for a while.

ANIS: That’s what Lauren and I said about Matt going on the pull – back of the net!

MATT THROWS HIS LUNCHBOX AT ANIS

ANIS: Watch it! Right I’m calling my mum…on the store phone, cause this is chappin’ bruuuuv

MATT: Tell her to wear the red lace for when I meet her tonight.

PARDEEP AND LAUREN: Ooooo

ANIS THROWS LUNCHBOX AT MATT. MATT LAUGHS.

ISIS: God first Cunt-Features, now Oscar

RAMSEY: Maybe they got kidnapped

MATT: Maybe they’re shacking up together

DOREEN ANA AND LAUREN: That’s disgusting

ANIS IS NOT GETTING THROUGH WITH THE PHONE. HE REPEATEDLY PRESSES THE HANGUP BUTTON

ISIS STANDS UP.

ISIS: Osky??

ISIS GOES DOWNSTAIRS. ANIS TURNS TO THE GROUP

ANIS: Hey the phone lines have been cut!

MATT: Are you sure you’re just not remembering how to make outcoming calls

SHAFA: Outcoming’s not even a word.

MATT: It is in Anis’ diary – in your face, Anis!

DAVID: Eh?

RAMSEY: Ha! He said Anis was gay.

PARDEEP: Right.

ANIS: Guys!!...The phones are dead.

BLAKE: Use your mobile, then, Cheapskate

ANIS PULLS OUT HIS PHONE.

ANIS: There’s no signal, either

MARIGOLD: What?

LAUREN: (pulling out phone) What??

EVERYBODY CHECKS THEIR PHONE.

IBRAHIM: What the f…

THERES A MASSIVE BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM. IT’S ISIS.

EVERYBODY STANDS UP.

DOREEN: What the hell’s going on? Where’s Oscar?

ANA: Is Oscar ok?

MATT: That obviously wasn’t Oscar screaming

ANIS: You never know.

MATT(BRISTOLIAN): High five!

BLAKE: Look, that was Isis,

EVERYBODY LEAVES THEIR SPOTS IN FRONT OF THE STAIRS.

SCENE 2 INT THIS STORE’S KID’S SECTION AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS. EVERYBODY RUNS OVER TO ISIS SCREAMING BLOODCURDLINGLY AT SOMETHING IN THE MANAGER’S OFFICE.

BLAKE: Isis, calm down what’s wrong!

ISIS: She’s…dead

YOU GUESSED IT, ISIS IS CORRECT ‘SHE IS DEAD’. SHE’S BEEN SHOT IN THE FACE BETWEEN THE EYES. SHE IS DEFINITELY DEAD. THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE AND A NEARBY ANGEL GETS ITS WINGS

ANA SCREAMS

SHAFA FAINTS

MARIGOLD: Oh my God…

ANIS: No way…

LAUREN: Ugh?

DELICIA: What the hell…

RAMSEY: How the hell…

MATT: Who the hell…

BLAKE: WHEN the hell…

OSCAR: What the hell…

DOREEN: You’re back?

OSCAR: She’s dead? Someone cover her up

ANIS: Someone should do something about Shafa

IBRAHIM: How the hell did she manage to die in the store?

BLAKE: She didn’t die…

IBRAHIM: Of course she did

OSCAR: No, she’s dead

DAVID: He means she didn’t just die

ANA: Of course she did, she’s dead

DAVID: No, you can’t just die…

MATT: I know what David means, she didn’t just die

DOREEN: OF COURSE she just died

MATT: Shut up for a second, I’m trying to sound cool! She didn’t die…

LAUREN: …She was murdered

MATT: Thanks a lot, JACK

MARIGOLD: Er, why is no one calling the police

IBRAHIM: Go call them then

MARIGOLD: Right

ANIS: No signal remember?

LAUREN: Well now we can leave, right? And get signal

OSCAR: Karen locked the door

BLAKE: Who wants to get the keys off her body?

DAVID: Umm you can’t ‘disturb the crime scene’ or anything

LAUREN: Well we have to call the police, are you sure the lines are down?

ANIS: Trust me

LAUREN TRIES TO DIAL

LAUREN: Someone murdered her, I don’t trust anybody

MATT: Except for me, right, I was up there the whole time

LAUREN PUTS THE PHONE DOWN

ISIS: You DID take a while getting your laptop

MATT: Shut your fucking mouth, Isis,

DAVID AND DELICIA: Whoa

MATT: Are you telling me you just ‘found’ her just now

BLAKE: Leave it out, Matt, don’t have a go

MATT: I’ll have a go at anyone who calls me a murderer

OSCAR: Guys we should calm down

LOIC: Someone just died!

ANA: Can someone just get her keys so we can all get out of here

RAMSEY: Like Loic says, she JUST died, bullets don’t just go into someone’s face

DAVID: Guys we need her keys

NO ONE MOVES

OSCAR: I’ll do it

OSCAR GOES OVER TO THE BODY AND TURNS IT ROUND AND POSITIONS THE BODY LEANING OVER

OSCAR: There’s a lot of blood

MATT: Wow, look how hairy her shoulders are

RAMSEY: Shut up, Matt

DELICIA: I’m gonna be sick

BLAKE: I don’t blame you, seriously, man

OSCAR: Guys, there’s no keys

LAUREN: What?

ANIS: You’re joking

OSCAR: I swear

ANA: You mean were trapped here

SHABANA: Why doesn’t someone break the glass

OSCAR: No, we can’t break the glass

LAUREN: Why not

OSCAR: It’s reinforced

MATT: Well what about emergency exits, fire exits, the back door?

OSCAR: All shut overnight

DOREEN: Well, can’t you unseal them?

OSCAR (POINTING TO BODY): She shut it

ANIS: What a stupid bitch

MATT: For fucks sake

MARIGOLD: You’re saying there’s no way out?

ISIS SCREAMS AGAIN

ANIS: Shut the fuck up

DELICIA: Could everybody just stop being rude

IBRAHIM: What the fuck’s your problem, bitch

SHABANA: Why the hell do you always have to be a bastard, Ibrahim

MATT: And that’s your friend saying that

IBRAHIM: You killed her, none of you twats are my friends

RAMSEY: Don’t be such a prick

IBRAHIM: Fuck off, Ramsey

MATT: Hey

IBRAHIM: Stay out of this, metro

ANA: Hey!

KHUS: Everybody just shut the fuck up.

THEY STARE AT KHUS GOBSMACKED

KHUS: You all seem to be forgetting where you are and who you are. You are employees. You have no power to dictate what goes on with this woman’s body, and we are not able to get out until tomorrow morning. The time is ten minutes to tomorrow and time for everybody to wise up. This is not the time for arguments, name calling or egotism. A woman just died. A much maligned woman, yes, but that was the person you all chose to work for. No one was forcing you to stay and follow this woman’s orders and yet someone, one of us, decided it was acceptable to take a human life than accept a punishment. I WILL find out who murdered her…and there WILL be consequences. One of you killed her. One of you is going to prison in the morning. Until then, we’re going to shut up. We’re going to stay calm. We’re going to stay together. We’re going to find out who did this. Blake, (BLAKE FLINCHES AS HE IS CALLED) get some grey fleece hoodies and prop up Shafa’s head…I’m going to carry her to the bench in the staff room. Hands up who knows the code to the staff room door?

ISIS, OSCAR, ANIS, AND LAUREN PUT THEIR HANDS UP

KHUS: Everyone here is a suspect, but you four are more suspect than the others. I’m going to change the code, no one is going to access the body unless I say so. You four will go upstairs to be questioned. The rest of you, stay waiting outside this door. No one even think of going in there.

KHUS PICKS SHAFA UP. IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH STRENGTH, DON’T WORRY.

IBRAHIM: Hey! Hey wait, why are you suddenly in charge?

KHUS: There is no manager, and Oscar is a highly likely suspect in this case, you can’t trust him, and I’ve been here the longest. You are a dot to me. After 8 years of working here, you can have the respect and authority to ask me what gives me the right to be ‘in charge’.

EVERYONE IS SILENT. KHUS AND BLAKE WALK OFF. EVERYONE IS STUNNED. LAUREN, ANIS, OSCAR AND ISIS GO UPSTAIRS SILENTLY

MATT: You guys realise this?

ANA: Yes

PARDEEP: It could be Oscar,

MARIGOLD: It could be Anis

IBRAHIM: It could be Lauren or Isis

MATT: It could even be any one of us. Even YOU…

STARES INTO CAMERA

PAUSE

CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO REVEAL THAT HE IS STARING AT SHABANA

SHABANA: Well, I don’t know, innit

DAVID: Guys, let’s shut the door

DELICIA: I know, there’s so much blood.

PARDEEP: Yeah, I know, we don’t want…

ANA: We don’t want any blood on the shop floor

HEY THAT’S THE NAME OF THE STORY. WHO KILLED THE MANAGER? WHO IN THIS STORE IS CAPABLE OF SUCH A HEINOUS CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY, KILLING THEIR BOSS, IMAGINE…WELL YOU DON’T HAVE TO, REALLY, I’VE WRITTEN, LIKE, A WHOLE SCRIPT FOR PEOPLE TO LOSE THEMSELVES IN…FIND OUT NEXT WEEK IN PART TWO OF ‘BLOOD ON THE SHOP FLOOR’