Lost – 4.12 – There’s No Place Like Home part 1 by McLeron

First of all…omfg…I am so in love with this show, as Tracy Jordan would say, I’d like to take it round behind the bike sheds and have little Lost babies. Christ alive, wasn’t everyone rocked to the core this episode. Apologies in advance as during this recap I will probably say ‘…and here is where I broke into applause’ fifty times as I must have done so during every minute of this prelude into what might be the greatest finale ever

So, for the penultimate time of 2008, Previously on Lost: Keamy had to resort to secondary protocol to torch the island, pre-emptively laying in wait for Ben to reach The Orchid station. Frank satphoned Claire’s house, which Jack took as a hint to follow them. Locke went into Jacob’s cabin and found a Christian Shepherd to shepherd him to salvation of the island, and confirming the theory that Jacob likes to move it, move it. He likes to (?) move it!

Reverse Hitchcock, or a Citizen Kane, where the camera pulls back or zooms out to reveal that we were looking through a window. Here, we were looking at the sky from inside a cargo plane. The pilot passes on some info to the co pilot and sees him holding…I don’t know what that is, last year we saw Jack holding something illegible and we’ll found out what that is two weeks from now, so logically the season 5 finale shall reveal the pilots thingamajig. IMO it looks like a fortune cookie…or a hanky. The co-pilot says they need it because of their cargo of bad Mojo. Michelle Forbes, from Prison Break and 24, addressed here as Miss Decker, is advised to let the cargo know that they are landing. Here pretty much everyone has realised that the Oceanic 6 must be on this plane. She unsteadily wibbles and wobbles her gangly body to the hold to tell, Shock Horror, Jack, Kate, Aaron, Sayid, Sun, and Hurley that they are about to land in a military facility just west of Honolulu. That’s a nice in-joke. She informs them all that their families are all there, and that the press wants to chat to them…if that’s ok. Jack speaks on behalf of everyone for what he might feel is the last time, that they are willing to hold a press conference. Everyone else blanks Miss Decker. She tells them that they are referring to them as the Oceanic 6. She swaggers precariously off as Aaron picks her nose. Yes her, that’s defo not a boy baby. When she is out of earshot, Jack turns to the other five ‘We all know the story, if we get any questions we don’t want to answer, or can’t answer, just say nothing…if looking at you Aaron’ He says that they can use shock as an excuse. And Sun reminds them that they still are.

The plane lands. They all look inscrutable. I’m having a very hard time scruting them. Good direction from Stephen Williams, I guess. In a nice bit of cinematography and musical no dialogue slow-motion, we have them stepping out of the cargo plane and onto the first bit of American land for…gosh, what date is it here? Well the first bit of American land for at least three months for Jack and Hurley, the first time in at least 6 months for Kate, and the first time ever for Sun and Aaron. Hurley is the first to get out, and I’m expecting him to cannonball everyone, but he hugs his mother and father. Sweet. Surprisingly, Jack’s mum is there, after a 75 episode absence, surely to be the record of a guest star on this show. She hugs Jack, and Mr and Mrs Paik ecstatically and tearily hug Sun. Kate has nobody. Seeing that Sayid has no one, Hurley brings him over to meet the Reyes’s. Jack looks very happy, but Sun looks forlorn, and WE ALL KNOW WHY.

FLASHBACK to Kate on the Beach. It’s dark and the Lostaways are debating the true interpretation of the message in the raincoat in the bag from the helicopter in the sky. Rose theorises that Desmond and Sayid must be in the chopper. Sun respectfully disagrees, saying that if they did, why didn’t they just land. Jack doesn’t know, but uses his common sense to say that the sat phone is tracking the chopper, so they obv want them to know where they are. Sun says they should call them to check. Don’t think that’s such a good idea, but Genial Genius Daniel ‘rejiggers’ the phone so that their side is muted and that they can hear the goings-on in the chopper. We learn that they have landed 5 clicks from the site, the Orchid (important!), and reading between the lines, Frank doesn’t want to do this, and neither Desmond nor Sayid are with them. Juliet thinks this brilliantly…so…Jack asks Kate to come with him to fight against the mass of combat military mercenary death soldiers. He had Juliet right there. Mmmm Kate and Juliet (hot oil death match) I don’t fancy Kate’s odds, even if she did dislocate Jules’ arm…Juliet’s badass, it’s a shame to see her relegated. So an injured Jack, and Kate will be saving the island. I think the rest of the Lostaways must have seen the flashforwards because if I didn’t know that Jack and Kate are relatively healthy in the future I’d be certain they were about to die. Oh I spoke too soon, as Juliet has her reservations. Jack argues with her. I’m quite annoyed with Jack this season, he’s just as dictatorshippy as Locke. In the early days he was all about what the whole camp wants, since s3 he’s always going on about how ‘HE’s the leader, HIS say goes’ I think it’s because Sayid is not on the island. Jack assures Juliet that he’s only being a jerk because he promised everybody that he was getting them all off this island. Jack, why bother, look at your flashforwards, you did a very halfarsed job of rescuing ‘everybody’ Juliet emotionally tells him not to bleed to death. She leaves wiping her eyes. Jack tells her he’ll see her in a couple of hours. This is exactly the kind of ominous foreshadowing that makes me predict that Jack isn’t going to see her for at least three years.

Daniel is frantically rummaging through his notebooks. Rummaginger asks him what’s wrong and he tells her that the death squad mentioned The Orchid, that means they are using the secondary protocol. She asks what’s the significance and his response is an urgent proclamation that they definitely, 100% need to get off this island…NOW

LOST

It’s now morning and Jate are catching up to the helicopter. Kate suggests they take a break, and for the first time ever in Lostory, he does. This lets her know that something’s up. His side is bleeding, and the man is doing some heavy sweating. Kate points this out to him and he says the bleeding to death is just the bodies way of recovering. Now I’m not a doctor *ignoring the shocked gasps* but that’s not going to pass with me, buster. Kate copies me and they don’t have time to discuss how Jack’s so good at bluffing, remember when he beat, oh speak of the devil, Sawyer comes bristling through the green with Aaron behind a nonchalant Miles. He looks well haggard – is Josh Holloway really aging or is it a great amount of detail by make up to make him look weather beaten after carrying a baby and screaming after Claire and having been shot at and blown up? Seeing Sawyer with Aaron, Kate asks where Claire is. Sawyer has to break the news that she is gone, and that they’ve been looking for her for a day. Cripes, Aaron has coped well, and he doesn’t even seem hungry. Sawyer has had enough questions already, so he asks them why they are out there with the sat phone. Jack explains that the helicopter flew over the beach and someone threw it out, hopefully Desmond or Sayid. Sawyer very seriously tells him that Sayid better not be on there, because the men on that helicopter are animals…and their smart…and if you think that ONE gun and ONE bullet, whoa sorry, was channelling Rambina for a second. Must have been Miles’ fault. Jack goes Pah! Sayid, joining sides with an enemy??? Leave it out, mate, pull the other one, give over, caress it gently, clean it thoroughly! Kate is surprised that they tried killing people. Sawyer says something I’ve waited to hear since series 2 ‘Locke was right’ (well, I’m paraphrasing) Jack belittles Sawyer’s handling of the situation, and this riles Sawyer, who disparages Jack’s plan. Jack isn’t taking any of his crap, as seriously, that helicopter is the only way off the island. Sawyer angrily tells Jack he sounds like a broken record, always snotting about getting off the island. Kate has to intervene. Jack makes it all about him, saying that he put Sayid and Desmond on the helicopter, so he’s going after it. Kate is now holding Aaron so she refuses to go any further as she is clever enough to realise that Aaron doesn’t give enough cover as a human shield. Jack walks off. Sawyer, finally gets his cowboy up, and says with unspoken love ‘that sonofabitch is stubborn, [yeah, you’re the authority here, ‘I’ll give you the inhalers for a kiss’] HOLD UP! You don’t get to die alone’…and here is where I broke into applause. Can’t anyone watch the flashforwards: Jack wants to die alone!

FLASHFORWARD, but not that far forward, to the fabled press conference, currently being watched by Mr Avelline, Guy in Pharmacy #1, Big Mike, and Korean Nurse #2. Miss Decker tells the press that the O6 crashed, then swam to the unchartered, uninhabited island Membata, where they lived for 103 days, until a typhoon washed up a boat, which they used to sail to Manukangga, in Sumba. This sounds like Krusty the Klowns opener at Stand-up. Once they were discovered as 815 survivors, Oceanic transported them to this Hawaiian hangar, post-haste! The first journalist gets to ask what it felt like to survive the crash. Jack lies through his overly-prominent canines about getting through the emergency door, and getting carried by the current where only 8 were alive, meaning three people died. I wonder why they said this stuff about the extra three people, were they Charlie and Claire because they realised that eventually scientists would get the tagged seagull with the message that there were survivors and that it would be signed by them, or were they just invented for a bit of realism? A British journalist tells them that they all look good...suspiciously good. Before Kate can tell her that she has a son, now, she’s not looking for a girlfriend, Hurley speculates that this is because of his heft. This lightens the mood, and his parent beam proudly. Taking his lead, the journo asks how it will feel to get all his money back, and Hurley says that he doesn’t want any of it back. Some Korean journalist tries asking Sun a question. Probably because she has no choice. All the other press sigh. She asked if Jin was one of the 8 who made it to the island. Sun thinks for a moment and looks at the other O6 for any help answering this question. Five minutes later, she finally gets round to answering and says that he died in the crash. Thus explaining the gravestone. The first journalist gets to ask another question. He asks a brooding Kate what it was like to give birth on the island. She says it was scary, in a scary whisper. She tells them Aaron’s age which is five weeks. Five weeks lasted over three seasons? So much happens in this show. Then the journalist slyly tries to ask her how pregnant she was when she was apprehended of the whole essay of crimes which she may or may not be guilty or innocent of not being guilty, wink once for yes. Decker spots the snare and doesn’t allow Kate to answer it. The Brit gets to ask another question. Aren't any of the other journo’s pissed? Or perhaps they all had just four questions and now they’ve all been answered. She asks Sayid if it’s possible that there might be any other survivors. He says absolutely not. Oh dear for us at home.

The press conference over, Jack congratulates them on lying well, while Decker tells Sayid that Noor Abed Jaseem is outside…and here is where I broke into applause. YES!!! I’ve been waiting for this for three years (didn’t start watching till it aired in the UK) He exits the hangar and finds her waiting for him. After 8 years of searching, she has found him, and then they kiss, and THIS must be the spectacular kiss everyone’s been speculating on. I don’t think you can better a kiss that’s been 8 years in the making. They kiss very awkwardly, but its dosed with tenderness. They hold on to each other and sway, while weeping, and we cut to an extreme long shot where my spine twinges then chills. But Nadia will die after ten months…Oh. No.

FLASHBACK to Sayid porting on the beach. The remaining Lostaways crowd around him and ask where’s Desmond. Sayid says it’s fine but they have to get in the boat – 6 at a time. Oh, you’re just playing with us, Demon and Curse. Juliet is confused as to why they are not in the helicopter and Sayid tells her that the men on the helicopter are there to kill them! Except Frank, right? Juliet flicks her head exasperatedly which worries Sayid. Jack and Kate just went to the helicopter. This worries Sayid more.

In the valley, Locke, Linus, and Reyes are making their way to the secondary protocol. Hurley wants to know where. Ben elaborates that they are going to the Orchid, a greenhouse. Hurley wants to know why. Ben refers him back to John saying that they have to move the island. Hurley wants to know how. Ben says ‘Very carefully’ Hurley wants to know what stopped them from doing it before. Ben informs him that doing so is very dangerous and unpredictable and is only to be done as a last resort. Ben stops at some rocks. Behind them are some supplies. Ben begins to open them but John takes charge. Inside are some crackers. They are probably for Kate to feel better, but Locke throws them over to the person with the nearest cupsize. There is a mirror. Ben asks for it. Narcissist. He disparages Hurley for eating the crackers as they are 15 years old (AAAAA one of the numbers!!!!!!!) Yeah, how old do you reckon the Apollo bar that had been in Hurley's back pocket for a month was. Anyway, when in Rome. Locke finds some binoculars. Ben looks up on high and holds the mirror above his head and proceeds to flick it at angles. Hurley asks what he’s doing and manages to fit in a ‘dude’ Ben says he’s communicating with someone. Locke wants to know who. Ben replies, having had enough questions for one episode ‘Who do you think?’ Logical guess: his people. They receive a light flicker back. Ben says it’s ok to go on. Locke wants to know what just happened. Ben says it’s none of his business.

On the beach, more people are clamouring for the boat. Daniel takes Sayid aside and asks that he take over the ferrying project while Sayid goes in the jungle. Daniel insists that he does, it’s urgent. Wow, look how far Charlie got with Eko’s church Sayid leaves. Daniel reiterates that only 6 can go. Juliet pushes Sun to the front, and Sun beams. Heh…sunbeams. Kate arrives with Aaron and Miles and is relieved to find Sayid. They decide to go after Jack. Kate leaves Aaron with Sun, not telling her what happened to Claire. Jin sees Sun with the baby, and instantly looks serious. Daniel gets on the boat and waves goodbye to Charlotte. Miles gets nothing. Poor Miles. On the raft, Jin smiles at Sun and the baby, saying that he kept his promise to rescue her…and here is where I broke into applause. Aww. And if Shannon was still alive, here she’d finally be able to eat that chocolate bar.

FLASHFORWARD to Sun arriving at Paik’s lair. She’s visibly bumpy, and the sight of all the stairs she has to climb depresses her. We enter on Paik in a fiery rage. How could this happen? He yells. Whoever did it used five banks apparently. Paik yells at his subordinates to get Yoon up here…NOW! Speaking of Yoon and Jin and two separate unrelated Korean stars on the same TV show with the surname Kim, Sun enters, which calms Paik. Sun greets him. He says it’s just business complications with the company which women would not understand. He asks how the pregnancy is going. Sun tells him to go blow a cow and stop acting. They both know he despised the father. Paik is outraged at this independence. After all, women should be obscene, not heard. He demands that she show some R-E-S-T-E-C-P. Her response, (and it’s a goody) is that she was paid so much for her severe emotional distress, and sudden ability to speak English fluently, that she bought a controlling interest in Paik Heavy Industries…and here is where I broke into applause You can see the cogs of Mr. Paik’s head turn as he realises that he’s been had by the nads. He wants to know why and Sun goes off on him yelling that he ruined Jin’s life, and it’s because of him that they were on the flight to LA. Out of the two people responsible for his death, Mr. Paik is one of them. Ummm from this scene, I guess I’m going to have to accept that Jin is dead. Noooooo! Damn Daniel Dae Kim for that dim dumb DUI. Mr Paik quails under Sun’s glare like a pussy, and knocks the ghostbusting vacuum cleaner disguised as a toy car on his safe Sun tells him that she will have her baby, then decide how to run the company.

Meanwhile, Hurley gets home with his Mr Clucks Birthday Bargain Clucket to an unlocked door, and a suspiciously empty house. He calls out for his mum and dad. Then he calls out for the Tron family servants who I swear he fired before his 815 flight. He starts hearing the Whispers as he picks up a random coconut on the floor. He picks up one of the handy gold Jesus’s hangin about the house as a weapon. He goes through the door to a surprise party where his mum reprimands him for using a idol as just that. Seriously though, Hurley is dense. It’s his birthday, and he didn’t think that was a possibility behind the Whispers (which have turned out to be his guests). Kate and Aaron wish him a happy birthday (this is before her trial) but Jack’s running late. Are they together now? But Hurley’s not in the institution yet. So they went out, then split, then had the trial, then went out, then split. It’s doomed, man. Beautiful Kristin Davis-reminiscent Nadia and Sayid wish him a happy birthday, and you can see that they are both wearing wedding rings. Awww. That’s so sad how she dies. Damn you, Widmore! Sayid comments that they chose an interesting theme (desert island) Hurley dismisses his old senile nympho mum as not getting the whole idea of trauma. David Reyes comes upon them and asks what they are talking about, building a fire, hunting boars? No, they are talking about four toed statues and Michael shooting Libby. His enthusiasm falls flat, so he asks Hurley away for a moment. He takes him to the garage to show him his present. It’s the Camaro, finally restored, finally with a carburettor. All these life moments that the writers have set up have been whisked over so rapidly in this episode. I guess that means even greater events to come. Hurley is amazed. David tells Hurley that he worked on it, when he thought he was dead, imagining Hurley was with him. Awwww…and here is where I broke into tears. David asks if he wants to take it for a spin. Hurley couldn’t be happier. Sadly the truth of this statement is only too realised. Hurley gets in the car and spots something on the dashboard. Uh oh. Nooo, it’s Hurley’s birthday. Hurley gets mad at seeing the numbers crying that it must be a joke. David remarks that it’s a massive coincidence. Hurley gets more agitated and scrambles to get out of the car and run away.

BACK to Hurley on the island, he brings up the point that even if they do move the island, doesn’t that mean the bad guys move too? Ben confirms this. Hurley is as flabbergasted as I am. Isn’t that a problem?? Ben says he’s working on it. Hurley cries that he wants to get off the island and worries that he won’t be able to. Sssh don’t worry Hurley, you’ll be fine. They arrive at the Orchid. Ben requests the binoculars and suggests Locke get lower to the ground, at least he and Hurley are camouflaged, Locke’s wearing *blue* for crying out loud. Locke locks and loads and asks why they are hiding. Ben tells him because Widmore knows about the Orchid so they have to ascertain whether or not it’s been infiltrated. Locke infuriates me on not asking any more questions, but instead his feelings get hurt that Ben lied to him. Ben admits that he wasn’t entirely truthful. Gosh that does NOT count as an excuse. I said this in my recap for Through the Looking Glass where he tells Mikhail that the reason he had to tell everyone the station was flooding was because he lied. Saying the truth after a lie does not excuse the lie. Ben must have had some bad parents. Oh yeah. Ben hands the binoculars back to Locke and tells him he needs to look at the back wall. They were too late, the Frarmy are already here!

On the boat Sun and Jin can’t take their celebrating eyes off each other. Oh please don’t let anything happen to Jin! They reach the Kahana where Desmond helps them on. Daniel explains to his Constant that Sayid is back on the island going after Jack. Sun and Jin get onto the freighter. Daniel speeds off heroically. Sun and Jin hear Kevin, um Michael saying that the engine’s fixed. They exchange significant looks. Desmond runs into the main bit (Deck? Hub? Cockpit? Steering room?) to tell the first mate (presumably) that the engines are now working. They are indeed. They start sailing to the island, and Desmond reminds the first mate to stay on the bearing 305. Apparently there’s some RF interference with the ********* and that he wont get any closer than 5 miles. Desmond says it’s impossible that there could be anything else transmitting, the radio room’s down. The first mate says there obviously is. Desmond runs off to search for it.

On the island, Sawyer and Jack are making their way to the helicopter. Sawyer spots the blood oozing from Jack’s side. ‘Cut yourself shaving?’ Heh. Jack explains that Juliet took out his appendix. They reach the helicopter. Frank is there, cuffed to it. Frank fills Sawyer in on who he is, and Sawyer is less hostile. He asks Sawyer to get the toolbox. Sawyer looks at Jack and he encourages him. Sawyer is an ass about it. I think Damon and Carlton slightly over do it when they write for Sawyer, he’s always so overly cool that it verges on lame. Remember the s4 premiere ‘surviven!’ Jack asks where’s Desmond and Sayid. Frank tells him. He also says that the men he brought there are some serious bad guys. Jack asks where they’ve gone. Frank says that they have gone to some greenhouse waiting for Linus. This shocks Sawyer. He asks what they would do to the people with him. Sawyer, look down at your shirt where it’s been splattered with the blood of the other socks who were just gathering firewood. That a clue???????? Sawyer tells Jack that Hugo’s with Ben. (Sawyer does not nickname his friends anymore just the freighters) Jack takes this in, and he is compounded by the accumulated stress and nonstop let up in saving people or himself he has had to do every day for the past 3 months and says greatly ‘SONOFABITCH’…and here is where I broke into loud applause and ecstatic whooping.

FLASHFORWARD to the funeral of Christian Shepherd. Around this time, Hurley will travel to Korea to see Ji Yeon and Jin’s grave. Jack is eulogising Christian. Jack isn’t the best at eulogising (Ana Lucia was a man of few words, and so am I….Rest In Peace[I’m aware that I called her a man]). He’s the king of writing wedding vows though. He tries to open with a joke, saying that Christian would have hated whatever he had written. So that talk Sawyer gave you about meeting Shepherd in a bar and how he wished he could talk to his son just went out the other ear, Jack? Oh yeah, Sawyer doesn’t exist in this bogus crash they had, keep up the charade, sorry I spoke. He says that the only thing Christian enjoyed about funerals was the booze. Um, Jack this is spiralling, you aren’t meant to enjoy funerals, booze is just the light at the end of the silver lining over the rainbow. Am I right or am I left? The Jears well up as he concludes saying that he misses him and loved him. The wake over, Jack is taken aside by an Australian blondie. She tells him that she is sorry for his loss and he thanks her. He asks her how she knew he father. She says that she is the reason he was in Australia. Jack doesn’t understand. She tells him that he came to see his daughter. Jack looks at her searchingly. He refutes her claim that his father had a second family, but she suggests he go check his phone records. That’s not even the strangest thing. Her daughter, Jack’s half sister was on the plane. Please say her name, please say the name, come on, Claire’s műter say it! Jack is shocked. She tells him that they were in the air for 6 hours, probably sat near each other neither knowing that they were related. She says that her daughter was one of the ones who died in the water (Crap! That screws my theory that the had no choice but to mention some extra survivors because of Claire’s seagull message) Then the mother says her name was clear. Oh Claire!…and here is where I broke into applause. My money was on Sun. Jack blinks exactly twenty times (yes, I counted). She apologises for burdening him with this new pressure, but he had to find out. She makes to walk out but stops to look at her grandson, commenting that he’s beautiful. He’s the bastard son of a bastard, so perhaps its like two negatives make a positive. Jack turns to Kate sharing very significant omfg looks.

BACK on the freighter, Sun is grilling Michael about how they got to New York. Michael explains, but it doesn’t take a whole episode with a subplot about a homosexual Other and a larger conspiracy with Libby ghosts. Sun gives him a dirty look as he admits that he is working for Ben. She’s never even met him, what’s her beef? Michael justifies it saying that he’s there to help them. Jin doesn’t need Sun to translate. The language of anguish breaks barriers. They are interrupted by a Distraught Desmond (track 14) yelling for Michael. Sun and Jin follow to find a room with a jaw dropping amount of C4. Seriously, that’s like an atom bomb. One block of C4 royally f*cked the Others submarine. Here, there’s hundreds, stacked like bricks. Holy Crap. Jin tells Sun something sensible in Korean and they skedaddle. Desmond and Michael look at each other shocked.

Kate and Sayid stumble through the jungle and stop as they find a fresh new set of tracks that aren’t Sawyer or Jack’s and the person’s doubled back…Not Naomi again. No, she’s on the boat. Kate and Sayid cock their weapons and aim around wildly shouting for the culprit to show themselves. ‘Relax’ says the voice of someone chilled out. He starts walking forward. DICKERS!!!! …and here is where I broke into applause. They shout at him to stop, but he keeps advancing on them until they give him the threat that if he takes one more step…and he takes one step. Before they can even react, about thirty other weapons get cocked at Kate and Sayid, and they are surrounded on all sides by a bunch of tatty Others. They take their guns.

At the Orchid, they are still watching the death soldiers. Locke can’t see Keamy. Ben removes his Extendo-Baton from his sleeve and hands it to John. Ben delegates John a long verbose list of instructions which don’t need to be recapped, telling him how to enter the REAL Orchid station. Hurley is little surprised that they had a fake. Locke is more worried about the death squad Frarmy. Locke wants to know how. Ben snaps and says ‘How many times do I have to tell you, John? I always have a plan’…and here is where I broke into applause. Although I don’t remember Ben saying that he has a plan other than this time. I’ve heard him say that he has a man on a boat, and Jack say that he has a plan, in the first two finales.

As the camera follows the people who escape the island we get some bloody beautiful, and very new music Giacchino hasn’t used before. Ben goes off to uncertain doom.

Sun comes onto the deck with Aaron with her body looking slightly disproportionate.

Jack and Sawyer go off to do what they do best, save their friend.

Kate and Sayid are marched off with Richard Alpert and Others, facing punishment for having kind hearts.

Hurley and Locke hide in the bushes, waiting for their cue to do their part and save the island.

And we realise that we love them all. Even

Ben who enters the forum of the Orchid to hear, just like Kate and Sayid, a whole lotta guns click at him. Out walks Keamy with an arrogant swagger. Ben looks at the man who killed his daughter and any memory of her and introduces himself. Keamy puts a gun to his head. Great plan, Ben. Ah you’re alive in the future, you’ll be fine. Keamy flinches and Ben is thrown back and you think he’s been shot, but he’s just been nutbutted in the face.

LOST

Grading: A

Interesting points raised: Hurley’s with Locke and Ben, soon to be joined by Jack and James. I don’t know where Kate and Sayid are going but they are done no serious harm, so they are probably going to the Orchid, where hopefully Richard Alpert and all save the day…hopefully not killing Keamy before removing that device which might cause the C4 to go off killing Desmond, Michael, and Jin. They better bloody not die, I love them all! So the day is saved at The Orchid, then Hurley, Kate, Jack, and Sayid get on the helicopter, but Sawyer chooses to stay, asking Kate to do him some favour, then they shoot off to the boat where they pick up Sun and Aaron…then they must either conspire together or be duressed into making the Oceanic 6 story. And we still have to find out who coffin guy is. Hopefully not Sayid or Michael or Frank! Charlotte and Miles surely have a big part to play, and presumably Claire, too. The great thing about finales is that each regular cast member has their own part to play, so it would be good to see Miles and Charlotte come through, and at least see Claire again.

I’d like to see Juliet bumped up a bit more into the action

So, all the things we’ve yet to see and have been promised this season are: a really awesome kiss; a seismic sky turning purple event (probably the island movement); a scene with Yunjin Kim in London; a full explanation to establish and place in context Jack’s keenness to return to Craphole island; the identity of the person in the coffin (everyone’s assuming it’s a man, no refers to the body as a he, though) and an ultra secret scene towards the end nicknamed the frozen donkey wheel.

I predict this finale gives more answers than questions, which is a bit annoying as last year we had a ridiculously huge question answered and got thousands of other little niggling questions introduced, which was brilliant. Here, I don’t think we’ll get so many compelling questions, which leaves me feeling a bit empty. But I think we all will.

Lost – 4.11 – Cabin Fever Recap by McLeron

Previously on Lost: Nothing happened. Troubling, I rather like a hefty bunch of previouslies to start an episode, but I guess they have been phased out because the actual episodes contain so much content, there’s no time for contextual establishing previouslies.

Someone puts on a record. I’m assuming due to the writers strike, and the cutting of episodes, they have started season 5 early and this is the opening. It’s a girl, dancing to a Buddy Holly record. She applies some lipstick to her bouche and dance-flirts with the mirror. Her mother chides her for going out at this hour, it’s almost three thirty, holy Moses. The girl says to her mum that yes she is going out, and her mother can’t stop her. Don’t tell me what I…ah anyway, the mum tells her that the guy she’s meeting is twice her age, there’s laws against this kind of thing. The girl, Emily, runs out of the house into the road and gets run over, such is life. The next thing she knows is that she’s getting trolleyed down a hospital hallway. She tells a nurse that she’s pregnant. That’s a shock because she sure doesn’t look it, there’s no bump at all. She’s five months down the line, on the cusp of six months. Jump to her birthing the child in a lot of agony. This is the genesis, everyone. It’s a boy, but he’s really premature, Emily can’t even hold him. She stutters stunned. Then she screams to name him John. So it begins!

BACK to the island, where my personal favourite, John Locke, is carrying a torch, following the leader, the leader, the leader to Jacob’s cabin. Hurley can’t guess why someone would build a cabin in the jungle or why they are going. Locke reminds him, and us because there were no previouslies, that they are going to get tips to defend the island from the man who is going to kill them. Hurley says they have been walking for hours, how close are they. Locke turns to Ben and asks how long left. Ben takes a moment and says that he doesn’t know, he’s been following Hurley. Heh. John is confused that they are following Hurley. Hurley says that he’s not even in front. Heh. Ben states he has no idea where the cabin is, Hurley saw it last. ‘Oh this is just awesome,’ says Hurley. ‘Well, what do you think we should do, John?’ Locke looks at them. ‘We’re making camp’ Ben walks on a little. Hurley is slightly frightened that they are stopping in the jungle with the dark and the monster and Ben. Locke maintains the rest will do them good. Hurley’s also worried about what happens when the freighter army (or Frarmy, if you will) comes back. He just said! He’s going to find out from Jacob. Locke says it in a more friendly way, saying he will find out soon.

We get a nice establishing shot of the freighter from the point of view of the helicopter. Desmond is woken by Sayid. No one ever wakes up themselves on this boat, there’s always some alarm or time conscious flitting to stop them from sleeping. And Des has had it worse in the hatch where no sleep lasted longer than 108 minutes. Sayid tells Desmond the helicopter is here and they go up to the deck. Keamy’s men carry the monster battered soldier to the doctor. The doc wants to know what ‘the hell’ happened. Keamy says a black pillar of smoke threw him 50 feet into the air and ripped his guts out. NICE. He spots Sayid and marches up to him imposingly and says he needs him to tell him exactly how many and where everyone on the island is. I’m so happy we have Sayid, who can get the measure of a man so well, who asks why would he tell him. You see a bunch of soldier mercenaries go back to where your friends are and see them return battered and bloodied with a terrified pilot, and the leader starts asking you for intel on your friends, what would you do? Legend, Sayid. He deserves to be my fourth favourite character. The captain gets over to them. Keamy cocks his gun at Gault’s neck, saying that he gave him up. The captain didn’t expect this kind of hello. Keamy tells him that Linus knew everything about him. Gault wasn’t the man who gave him up. Keamy: Then who did?

Cut to them walking in on Michael, who is chained to a pipe in his cell. Keamy deftly kicks out a leg on the bed so it crushes Michael’s leg. Then he sadistically puts his foot on it. He interrogates Michael and finds that he is the spy. Keamy pulls out a gun and aims at Michael. The captain orders him to wait. Keamy pulls the trigger. No bullets come out. My friend David looks at me and I at him. Then we are helpless just to laugh our arses off. Heheheheh. We also watched Meet Kevin Johnson together so we have the shared experience of learning that Michael is impervious to guns, unlike say Ana-Lucia. Keamy checks the gun and it’s fully loaded. He’s confused. The captain tells him that they need Michael because he’s the only one who can fix the engines. Keamy knocks Michael out instead.

LOST

Locke opens his eyes and hears someone chopping wood and grunting. Hurley and Ben are asleep. He explores onward. It turns out to be Horace Goodspeed, or the dickhead from The Green Mile as he’s known round ours. Horace Goodspeed, lest we forget, was gassed to death not too long ago and got thrown into the Dharma grave. The tree he’s chopping falls over and we get a nice shot of it falling from low ground. Horace, who had been ignoring Locke, now acknowledges him. He does an Ethan and says a creepy ‘Hello, there’ Locke asks him who he is. He introduces himself, saying that he's building a place for him and the missus because sometimes they need a break from the Dharma Initiative. He says interrogatively that he’s not making any sense. Locke agrees. He says it’s probably because he has been dead for 12 years. Yeah, probably, just a stab in the dark, but that does seem to be the best reason. Some blood has dribbled from his nose to his mouth. The tree he’s chopping falls over and we get a nice shot of it falling from low ground. Wait a minute, I say to David, they’re just recycling footage! What cheap bastards! Then Horace says Hello there again. So there was a photocopying error with the script pages and we’re getting the same scene twice? Oh wait there’s new dialogue. Locke notices the tree is upright again. Horace tells him the path to Jacob is through him, find his body, find Jacob – find the leader, save the island. Eeww I’m not a fan of my phrasing there. It sounds a little too much like the tagline for a really crap TV show that loads of people ignorantly say is much better than Lost. Horace tells him that Jacob’s been waiting for him a real long time then chops the tree again. Locke opens his eyes and stands up. It was a dream. Ben is awake, so Hurley is awakened by Locke. He now knows where to go. Ben says mournfully that he used to have dreams. So does Widmore, but in the future he has nightmares. A sad note. Locke looks at him compassionately, then nods him onward

FLASHBACK to someone bald, wrinkly, and unable to walk. Hmm wonder who he grows up to be. Emily is staring intently at Baby Locke (or Blocke, if you will) A nurse comes in cheerily telling them that he’s the youngest premature baby (or ‘preemy’) to survive in the hospital. He’s suffered all sorts of infections, but Little John (damn that’s a much better nickname than Blocke…what’s done is done, though) survived them all. His grandmother says that’s wonderful, but her manner betrays her words. The nurse buoyantly says that they are now getting him out of the incubator, so Emily can now hold her baby. Emily looks at Blocke terrified. She says she can’t do it and bolts. Yeah, Emily, make it all about you. She is one of my most hated mothers. Perhaps even worse than Jin’s. The grandmother observes this unimpressed and pulls out a cigarette and gives the nurse a hard glare asking what she can do about adoption. It’s as simple as that to you isn’t it? Ugh, she’s just like Lucille Bluth. The nurse has to chide her that it’s a hospital, there’s no smoking. The grandmother puts the cigarette away apologetically and sees a man in a suit through the window who wasn’t there a moment ago. We can’t see his face but David and I can tell who he is from behind – Dickers!!! Dickie Alpers. David says thank god Cane got cancelled. Hear hear. The nurse asks if he’s the father. Granny doesn’t know who he is.

We’re back on the island and Hurley doesn’t know why he’s with Locke and Ben. Ben, I mean Locke, tells Locke, I mean Hurley that he has some communion with the island and that makes him very special. Hurley has a theory about why the three of them can see it: they are the craziest. Locke tells him they aren’t going to the cabin yet, they have to make a pit stop. Hurley is confuddled. Locke asks if Hurley knows about why Dharma died, a hundred people building hatches all over the island, making all the ranch dressing Hurley likes. Lol, a joke from season 2. He tells Hurley that they have to pay their remains a visit. They are there already! So his pit stop, was to stop at a pit. Played. We get some gratuitious shots of the bodies. ‘Where’s that one with the bullet hole in his skull they always show?’ I cry. Sure enough, it’s there with the rest of em. Hurley asks what happened to them. Ben did, replies Locke.

FLASHBACK to Kid Locke (or Klocke, if you will, so no one confuses it with Kid Rock) playing backgammon. His adopted sister looks out at the pouring rain then turns back inside surveying his pleasure. ‘That game’s stupid’ says the brat and shoves his board off the table. Umm, what was the point in that? Well we know she dies soon anyway, little cow. The mum shoos her away from Klocke as someone is there to see him. It’s Ricky Alpert, and he is eager to see him. The mum tells Klocke harshly to be on his best behaviour. The kid’s more timid than a mouse, I don’t think he has one word of dialogue through this whole scene! The mum effs off and leaves them alone. Richard comments on the backgammon board. It would be pretty cool if he starts telling Locke about how the dice used to be made of bones and the game’s older than Jesus Christ and there are two sides, one is light, one is dark. Does Klocke want to know a secret? None of that happens, instead Richard tells Klocke that he believes he qualifies entry into his special school. He sets down his man’s bag from The Brig and spots a drawing on the wall where a bald stick figure seems to be farting a monumental gust of butt breath. I think it’s meant to be a foreshadowing of when he encounters the monster in the season 1 finale. But Locke has a scar over his eye and five digits on his right hand.

So it’s not Locke! Dickie tells Klocke he wants him to look at a selection of objects and tell him which one he himself owns. He puts down a catcher’s mitt, a book of law, a vial of that ash from Jacob’s cabin, or something seemingly like it, a compass, a comic book, and a knife. Initially Klocke is confused, but he selects the vial. I shout woohoo because he’s obviously chosen correctly. But then he goes on to pick more. He picks a compass, and I’m like aaah that explains so much…well actually, it just gives an explanation of one thing, why Locke has a compass. Then he picks again. He looks at the book for ages, but instead chooses the knife which naffs Alpers off to no end. He asks him if he’s sure he owns the knife. Klocke nods. Richard snatches the knife off him and gathers all the items into his back as the mum comes out and asks if he did ok. Richard says that he’s not quite ready for the school and literally steamrolls out of there. But what about the drawing? The mum reprimands Klocke. He pouts because he hasn’t done anything wrong.

Back in the pit, Locke is rummaging through dead bodies. Hurley feels like a third wheel. ‘Soooo…this is where you shot Locke?’ Nice conversation topic, Hugo. Ben says that he was standing right where Hurley is. In a moment of understated comedy, Hurley subtly backs away from the spot and my friend and I laugh again. Ben says he should have realised at the time that it was pointless shooting Locke, but he wasn’t thinking clearly. It’s interesting to hear him say this. The island really wants Locke to stay alive. Hurley asks if not being able to think clearly is why all these people in the pit are dead. Ben says that he didn’t kill them, he did, but he didn’t decide to do it, their leader did. Hurley says that he thought Ben was the leader. Ben says he wasn’t always the leader. Locke finds the body before we can learn more. Ben sees that Locke was looking for Horace's body, which shakes him up. Locke finds a map/blueprint in Hozzazez front pocket. Bingo!

Back on the freighter, Frank comes over to the captain and Keamy to say that the bloke tormented by the monster finally gave up his life, and the crew are well suspicious. Keamy tells Frank to tell them that its all being dealt with, and go prepare to chopper. Frank doesn’t want to do this without a valid reason, and Keamy just repeats himself like a buttmunch. Frank goes away and the captain takes a moment to mention that the crew have had a strange bout of sickness near the island, and tells him about when Regina threw herself overboard. Keamy waves this off, and asks for Gault’s key. He says that’s not the protocol before Dickface slams him against the wall. Here I screamed at the screen ‘He’s your captain, you bastard!!’ Keamy yanks the captain’s key from his neck and thanks him. They both enter his umm cockpit (?) The easily usurped captain says that they are meant to open the safe together and Knobjockey says some throwaway bullying comment. He opens the safe and pulls out a red folder. Inside is another folder with what we presume is the Orchid logo. The captain asks what it is, and all he gets told for his troubles is that it’s secondary protocol. It details where Linus is going. The captain asks how they know that, and Keamy responds by explaining that Widmore is a clever Old Bastard. If Linus knows that they are going to torch the island, there’s only one place he can go. Tunisia??? Gault’s flabber is gasted, he never wanted to do any torching, he was only there to ferry them for an extraction mission. Keamy gives him a cold stare and orders him to fix his gun.

On the deck, Desmond observes another injured soldier biting the dust. He and Sayid don’t have any idea what could have caused them such harm, but they are certain the Frarmy won’t make the same mistake twice. ‘Omar!!’ shouts the advancing captain. Keamy needs him in the armoury. Omar’s orders were to stay and watch Des and Jarrah. The Captain says that he will watch them. Omar gets a Morse code transmission. Ahhh here we go. The Captain tells Desmond and Sayid to hide in the pantry. Sayid asks if Michael is dead. He isn’t but there’s been a few failed attempts, which is why they need to hide. Sayid says hiding is pointless and that they should ferry people to and fro in the zodiac raft. 80 Nautical Miles???? Well, if you say so Sayid. He and the captain agree to meet in ten minutes.

Locke is checking out the cabin’s location on the blueprint and says mysteriously that it came from up the coast. That boggles me. Hurley decently gives Locke and Ben a bottle of water. Hurley gets the same speech Locke gave Boone exactly three season ago that he should go back for his own safety, and history repeating itself, Hurley stays. Hurley leads on MacDuff. Ben looks at Locke. Locke says oi you, what's with the face. Ben says that Locke tricked Hurley into thinking that it was his own idea. Locke says he’s not Ben. Michael Emerson plays the line ‘You’re certainly not’ with such ambiguity it’s an insult to use the word. It’s more like a trambiguity, or a quambiguity, or a dodecambiguity.

FLASHBACK to Adolescent Locke (or Adolocke, if you will) stuffed in a locker. His teacher helps him out, as a bunch of cheerleaders laugh raucously as if it’s the funniest thing ever. The teacher orders Adolocke into his office to rap with him. First he tells him that a scientific company called Mittelos is asking for him. Adolocke looks at the leaflet the teacher gives him and balks. He asserts that that is precisely why no one thinks he’s cool. I do, John!! Adolocke whines on how they even heard of him and his teacher says it was probably that science project he made at Costa Masa. I’m a bit lost, here. Adolocke declares dramatically that he’s not a scientist, he likes boxing and fishing and cars and sports. Yeah, that doesn’t make him sound like he’s in the closet. The teacher looks at him and says that he will tell him something that he wished someone had told him at Adolocke’s age: ‘You can’t be the prom king, you can’t be the quarterback, you can’t be a superhero’ That’s the teacher’s wish? I would have wished for something like Scarlett Johansson or the ability to stop time. That sounds like someone’s preaching from the book of The Christian Shepherd. It’s practically the same as telling him he doesn’t have what it takes. Adolocke grits his teeth and growls ‘Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do!’ Locke fans at home applaud. In my opinion the teacher went the wrong way about getting Adolocke to Portland, he was just trapped in a locker, he obviously wasn’t in the mood to hear that kind of stuff.

In Michael’s room, Frank enters and asks why Michael didn’t tell him that he was a Lostaway. Mike lies that he wouldn’t have been believed. Frank calls him on the lie, saying that the first thing he told him was that he believed that there were survivors of 815. Mike honestly says that he couldn’t trust him, as Frank’s boss put the plane there. Frank doesn’t believe that. He helps Michael up and Michael asks him not to fly Keamy back. Frank’s not listening. Michael tells him, to paraphrase the words of a Linus (Dawson’s considering himself one of the good guys) that Keamy will kill every single living person on the island. Frank listens. God forbid anything happen to his best island friend, the brown cow. Michael tells him to trust him, he doesn’t want that on his conscience. Frank lets Michael out of the cell, only to spot Keamy and Omar up to some suspicious likely nefarious misdeeds. We see Omar strap…something incredibly mysterious to Keamy’s mahoosive bicep Look how small his thumb is compare to Keamy’s bicep! The man is humungous. Keamy spots the nonchalant Frank with the shifty looking scared Michael. Frank’s excuse is that he’s taking him to the engine room. Omar does a Godfather and shuts the door.

The captain meets Sayid and Desmond. He gives them a compass and tells them to travel only on a bearing of 305. With a few goodbyes, the captain leaves them. Sayid prepares to go back, but Desmond isn’t coming. He’s been there for three years and is never going back. He has to stay on the boat and get rescued by Penny. Sayid understands and tells him that he will be back with the first group as fast as he can. Sayid, the magnificent soldier, leaves.

Locke tells the group that the cabin should be 200 yards that-a-way. Ben asks him if he’s sure. Locke sort of does a ‘huh?’ Ben says it might have moved again. Locke is certain of it’s location as he was told where it would be. Ben says he was told lots of things. He bitterly says he was told he was special, and he ended up with a tumour on his spine and a dead daughter. Locke apologises that all that happened. Ben says that they had to happen – it was his destiny...but soon Locke will know that there are consequences to being chosen. Like Jesus I guess, chosen, then tortured. Ben says ‘Destiny is a fickle bitch’ I like that line. Does that mean Sawyer, with his so often yelled Sonofabitch, mean that he is Destiny’s Child? Locke takes this in solemnly, and his eyes pity Ben. Hurley calls them to say that they have found the cabin. Yay! Finally!

FLASHBACK to Adult Paraplegic Locke (Paraplocke if you, ah forget it, he can be called Locke here) He’s trying to get across some bars. He fails. Aah Cooper, death was too good for you. A black bald orderly (a blalderly?) helps Locke into a wheelchair and tells him not to give up. Locke says he wouldn’t be saying that if he read his file. Then he saves the blalderly the trouble by telling him that his spine was crushed. As a matter of fact, the orderly (blalderly is a rubbish word, and the joke has gone too far) did read it, and Locke is a walking miracle. The camera pans up and Yikes! It’s Creepy-Eyes Abbadon. He asks if Locke believes in miracles. Locke doesn’t. Abbadon tells him he should, one happened to him personally. Here he has Locke perched at the top of some stairs, and the music goes creepy. If he pushes Locke down the stairs…but no all is well, Locke sort of angrily says that he just wants to go back to his room. Abbadon tells him that Locke should go on a Walkabout. Locke doesn’t know what that is. Abbadon tells him about it, that it’s a journey of self discovery, where you go out into the Australian outback with a knife and your wits. Locke seriously says that can’t Walkabout anything, and he’s a flaming cripple, it’s not going to happen. Abbadon says that he went on a walkabout convince he was one thing, but came back another and found out what he was made of. Locke goes for the jugular and says that oh yeah, it really shows, now you’re an orderly. Abbadon says he’s a lot more than just an orderly. He wheels Locke into a lift and says that he should go on a walkabout when he is ready, and when they meet again, he will owe Abbadon one. Does this mean the writers are willing to let Locke stay alive at least until he meets Abbadon? Wwahoozah.

Lots of firepower is loaded into military bags. Desmond watches this perturbed. Omar asks the doc if he wants to hear something weird. Doc Ray’s game. Omar tells him that the morse code message said the doctor washed up on shore with a slit throat. The doctor is successfully weirded out. Keamy checks if everything is there. They have taken a hell of a lot of rockets. Frank asks what they plan to do with them. Keamy is a jerk and tells Frank to start the helicopter. Frank refuses. Keamy repeats his order but a lot more menacingly. Frank stands his ground. Keamy threatens Frank with death. Frank’s ok with that because he is the only pilot. To convince Frank, he does a bit of Keamy-therapy on Doc Ray’s throat and throws him overboard. Keamy gets halfway through explaining that in another 30 seconds someone else will die, but then a gun is fired. It’s Captain Gault! Legend. ‘I fixed your gun,’ he says, aiming at him. Keamy points to his armpit, which would stop me in my tracks, or he’s pointing to the device on his arm, which is captivating me (the device, not his arm) and tells the captain that he would not advise that. The captain asks around what the device is, but gets shot by Keamy. He pulls the trigger a split second later, but as Keamy is still standing has either missed, or Keamy’s in some protective force field powered by the thing on his arm. The captain probably missed. Desmond is very anxious and retreats. Frank is stunned. He agrees to fly them there, but once inside the helicopter, he stows a sat phone covertly in a bag. Keamy takes his gun from the captain and thanks him. They all get in the helicopter and it takes off

On the beach, Juliet tells Jack off for walking about. She tries to tell him that it isn’t good for his health and he acts like a know it all. They hear the helicopter returning. Everyone comes out looking for the source of the sound. Juliet welcomes the sound with open ears and a smiley face. It sweeps over them and a package is dropped. It demolishes Claire’s tent and here I was terrified it was a bomb and that Juliet would die, but they run over to it. He sees a map of the island, various pieces of equipment, and many books. He throws them all out until he finds the bleeping sat phone. Perhaps he should have spent some time looking at the map. Everyone looks to Jack for an answer. Ever the optimist, he says that he thinks they want him to follow them. D’oh!

Locke looks back at Ben and Hurley to see if they want to go in. Ben says the island doesn’t want him, his time is over. Hurley is too weirded out by all this. Ben sadly sees the new defender of the island visit the magical Boon. Locke doesn’t say anything like ‘Jacob, it’s John Locke, I’m coming in’ like Ben did, he just goes inside with a lantern. He goes inside the dingy dark place, and sees a figure sat in Jacob’s chair. Jacob? No, says the figure, but I can speak on his behalf. It’s Christian Shepherd. He introduces himself, missing out his surname. Locke sits down to talk to him. I think this is the first time we’ve seen the island Christian Shepherd have any lines, except the So It Begins mobisode. Locke asks if Christian knows why he has come. He does, but he asks Locke if he himself does. Locke begins uncertainly but finishes confidently that he was chosen to be there. Christian says that’s absolutely right. A creak behind Locke grabs his attention. It’s Claire. Locke is very surprised. It seems like just about anyone can be chosen these days – he’s not special at all! First the fat man, and now the girl who forgot her pill, it’s a travesty! Christian says it would be best not to tell anyone that Claire is there. Locke wants to know why, and Christian rudely says that we don’t have time, the people on the boat are already back and once they get there, it won’t matter, so Locke should just go ahead and ask the question that does matter.

‘How do I save the island?’

Outside the cabin Hurley and Arzt, I mean Ben are sat on a log. Hurley gets out an Apollo bar and takes his sweet time opening it while Ben watches all this enviously. Hurley catches Ben looking at it and Ben jerks his head to appear like he wasn’t perving on the food. Hurley breaks it in half and gives one to Ben. It’s almost like some religious painting. Hurley puts his share in his mouth in one go. Pig. Ben chomps on the chocolate bar gratefully. For that, Ben will do everything in his power to make sure that Hurley gets his wish and gets off the island and become one of the Oceanic 6. Locke comes out of the cabin.

‘Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?’ asks Ben.

‘He did,’

‘Well?’

‘He wants us to move the island,’

LOST

Grading: It was hard to grade this episode, my friend and I found it to be one of the weaker Locke episodes. Perhaps the flashback would be better off suited to season one as it shares similarities to Claire’s flashback with the fortune teller. If I measure it against other eleventh hours of the previous seasons, it doesn’t score very high, episode eleven of series one is one of the best episodes of Lost ever made, the eleventh episode of series two is a highlight of the season, and the eleventh episode of season three was a bit more engaging that this episode. However the stuff on the freighter was some of the best Lost I have seen this season. Every single scene on it captivated and surprised me, and in my opinion far outweighed the island events. If I measure Cabin Fever against other episodes of a three hour finale, it kicks the crap out of 1.22 – Born To Run, an episode so lame, I can’t be bothered to describe its lamenossity, it shares similarities to 2.21 - ? with Locke having a dream about someone he had never met, and that episode which is lame by today’s standards, shook the life out of me. Measuring it against 3.20 – The Man Behind The Curtain is a bit of a joke as I have worked out that that is my second favourite episode of all time (so far[which seeing as I said all time, means I was lying when I used the term. In fact it really is pointless to use that phrase before the show has ended]) I have to admit, I was disappointed we didn’t see Jacob. Yes, we saw Alpert, but we’ve seen him about six times already, and yes, we saw Christian but he’s been in more episodes than some of the regular cast members. It was interesting to see a different side to Creepy-Eyes Abbadon, but I would sacrifice all of those to see Jacob in the episode which was basically all about going to see him. As Locke is my favourite character, I should be happy, but I began to think about how someone who doesn’t care about Locke would view the episode. I know this episode had a great response but I just didn’t feel it. Very little happened on the island. I think this is the first time in any Lost episode where I have found the events off the island more interesting than the stuff going on on the island. After all that, I decided to give it a low B.

B-

Interesting points raised: As a tremendous Locke fan (I must have seen Deus Ex Machina thirty times and the ending about eight hundred. There was a time when I would have the final six minutes of the episode play on media player on repeat while I did my Law homework [which takes about 5 sodding hours] and then it came out on the soundtrack two years ago which I must have now listened to at least a thousand times – NERD!) this episode was good confirmation that Terry O Quinn is here to stay until season six.

The thing on Keamy’s arm, what the hell man! My theory is that it sets off some mahoosive bomb if his heart stops.

It seems there was some truth when Ben, posing as Henry Gale, told John in 2.20 – Two For The Road that they were coming for him and he was special. The Others must have been ecstatic when the plane crashed – thank god Desmond was convinced to sail around the world to win Penny back after being convinced to dump her. The show is very complicated, but it does start to sound like everything’s falling into place at the right time.

Dharma drops…if a doctor washes up on shore two days before he dies by floating to the island on the wrong bearing, could that mean that a Dharma plane flying on the wrong bearing dropping a pallet in 1985, that pallet could potentially end up reaching the island in say, the last week of 2004?

Crikey the Others were really patient when it came to getting Locke to the island. Compare that to Juliet, where they tried every trick in the book to get her to the island, even to the point of roadkilling her ex. Though at that time, Ben was in charge, so I guess they were a bit more ruthlessly efficient, that and while Locke is a handsome man, Ben doesn’t want him as much as Juliet. The way Claire was ‘recruited’ to the island was enacted with a degree of urgency, but compare that to Sayid, where it was a matter of luck or Kate where by chance Ray Mullen gave her up.

This episode gives a new clarity to why Tom and Richard did not stop Locke when he was beating Mikhail.

I have written much less in my interesting points raised section, but if you’re a fan like me, you must be a bit bored by now, every response to this episode has yielded the same questions which I don’t think hold much relevance at this time. How many times can we hear maybe Abbadon’s Walt from the future; they aren’t moving location, they are moving time; Claire is dead; it’s just grasping at straws there’s no hint of this except smoke and mirrors, and I’m pretty bored. Now, don’t go writing letters, no one loves this show more than I do, unless they are seriously deranged, and I am biting my nails until I see the finale, I just think this episode gave very little and I am disappointed that everywhere I look I’m seeing the same ideas, normally there are so many different ones but everyone’s just thinking the same thing.

Lost – 4.10 – Something Nice Back Home Recap By McLeron

Previously on Lost: Nothing happened.

Open on a closed eye, which opens. A very similar opening to Eggtown, except here, we actually have something better to wake up to than two eggs and a melon. What could be better than two eggs and a melon I hear you ask? Why, two eggs and two melons of course! Juliet and her two melons bounce pendulously which gets a rise out of Jack, the owner of the eye. Bad choice of phrasing there, I guess. Outside Jack’s tent, there is a hubbub/furore/fracas/ruckus (not sure about the difference between them). Group B are ganging up on Charlotte and Daniel, Rose givin’ all her Bronx sass, Jin not doing much. )

Jack tells ’em to calm down, he knows Charlotte and Daniel are lying, but sooner or later, someone will come to pick them up. Sun says smartly that there a situation may arise where Charlotte and Daniel run off again, and I’m like, what do you want Jack to do, Sun, what do you want him to do? Just shut up and listen to him, alright? What’s he supposed to do, send their little piggies to market? No, he’s going to ignore how a doctor is dead on the island but still alive on the freighter, because that’s all nonsense, and he has a degree and he’s better than that. I hate Sun. How has she survived so long? To reassure everyone, Jack makes a nervous speech ‘I said I was gonna get us of this island, all of us, I promised that I would’ Umm, you should see your flashforwards, mate. Then he collapses to the ground dying.

FLASH(SOMETHING) to Jack bare-chested in bed, and I mean bare. He used to own a Austin Powers like blanket of chest hair, and now he’s clean as a fiddle, he doesn’t even have any, like, scars around his stomach area, so it’s good to know he hasn’t been shot or maimed or anything. The phone rings. It’s his office, switching dates. Jack gets out of bed, and wraps a towel around his lower body, and picks up some red cobwebby knickers. Nice. Little did he realise that he would wear those for the 4 months he spends on the island. He stashes them in a drawer for later. He comes down the stairs, and I’m like, I know those stairs! If you’ve watched the ending of Eggtown as much as I have, you’d know. So we’re in a flashforward. Jack trips on Aaron’s toy Millennium Falcon, muttering ‘sonofabitch’ (way too much time with Sawyer), does the dishes (which as he is a man, consists of placing them gingerly in a sink), makes coffee, and checks the paper, presumably yesterdays. It has bad news, the Red Sox have been ‘bludgeoned’ (what’s a bludgeon, a noun or a verb?) by Lapidus’ team, the Yankees. He goes to the bathroom where Kate is showering. She says she brought him a razor. HA! How ironic! For two reasons, can you guess them? Hairy-Arms Kate gets out of the shower all wet and snogs Jack.

LOST

Jack is reading Alice in Wonderland to Aaron. Kate pervs on them. Aaron nods off so they leave. DAMN Kate looks hott! She’s wearing Jack’s huge shirt and disappointingly, some underwear. Kate says Jack’s sweet. Uh uh, lady, you’re the one who’s sweet. Jack mentions his dad used to read it to him. Kate says it’s nice to hear him say something nice about his dad. Jack is surprised he doesn’t say nice things about his dad. Mate, I’ve watched the show for three years now, I’ve only ever seen you mention your dad to Sawyer and Michael. Jack says his dad was one good story teller. Is that meant to be foreshadowing? Or is it backshadowing because we’re in the future? Though technically the past. He asks Kate if she’s ok. She says she just loves seeing Jack with Aaron, and he’s glad he changed his mind to come live with them. Jack predictably says ‘me too’. They start to make out, and omg, Juliet might have to replaced as hottest from behind of the week winner as Kate looks stunning.

Although she’s technically hot from the side. She straddles him, like how she did with her fiancé in her marriage episode, and like then, the man carries her off and she giggles. History repeats itself!

Back on the island, Juliet is being a great replacement Jack, being very calm and cool. Jack tries to lunge forward, but collapses again. Kate arrives concerned. Jack says he’s just dehydrated, but Kate knows better. Jack says he’s fine and soldiers on.

Sawyer, Claire, and Miles are making for the beach with baby in tow. Claire lets it slip that she’s been seeing things. Miles stops walking because he’s hearing echoes of the past. He asks who is Danielle and Karl. Aaw man, this ep was written by Eddie and Adam, my least favourite Lost writers. Where’s a Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof written episode?? They always write earth shattering episodes, like The Brig, and The Constant. 3 out of my top 5 Lost eps are written by them. Miles uncovers Danielle and Karl’s bodies. It upsets them all. Sawyer asks if Miles ‘buddies’ did this, and Miles nervously states that whatever he signed up for, this wasn’t part of it, and they are not his buddies. Claire gets really upset, and who can blame her, Rousseau and Alex saved her life once. Sawyer calms her down, and they leave.

At the beach, Juliet wants to check up on Jack. Jack reckons it’s food poisoning because of his symptoms. Juliet wants Jack to take off his shirt. Well, who doesn’t? Jack reluctantly does so, and Juliet's suspicions that it’s his appendix are confirmed. Juliet says they will have to remove it.

Juliet asks Sun to get supplies from the Staff if she can remember the way. Sun remembers. Juliet makes a list of the supplies but Sun is a lay person, she doesn’t know what a suture is, or even how to spell it. Daniel says he can help, but nobody trusts him. Jin says his second line of the episode ‘No’ making a grand total of 4 letters. Charlotte smugly says she told Daniel so. Daniel feels like he has hit the nail on the head and says that her attitude and manner is exactly why no one trusts them, and alienates them. Yeah, Charlotte was all sunshine and haribo before she got shot twice by Ben. Daniel convinces Juliet that he and Charlotte are scientists, and they don’t want anyone to get hurt – which is why Charlotte was going to bash Juliet’s head in with that wrench in 4.06. Juliet is sold, but just in case, she gets out Tom’s gun and gives in to Jin telling him to shoot them in the leg if they run. Yeah, Jin doesn’t speak English, he probably thinks you said ‘Shoot hen in the egg’ or something. Jules tells them to hurry.

Then she tells the rest of Group B to make a sterile environment. I hope she’s leader when Jack’s gone, she’s just like him, but slightly more relatable and approachable. She’s a doctor. She walks among them but is not one of them. Her flashbacks are interesting. Yeah, she’s a wicked leader. Kate asks why they don’t take Jack to the medical station if everything’s there, slightly echoing the gayest line in Lost history – Jack: We shouldn’t bring the water to the people *pause for effect* we should bring the people to the water. LAAAAAAME!!! Juliet doesn’t want to panic Kate or anything, but if she does that, Jack will DIE.

Charlie watches over Claire, oh no it’s Miles. Claire is rocking Aaron to sleep. Sawyer barges over and tell Miles not even to think about it. Miles and I say ‘think about what?’ Sawyer says to not even look at her. Josh Holloway is really funny in this scene, and tells Miles he has a restraining order.

Miles asks him, in a dramatic ironic style if he’s Claire’s big brother. It’s not the time to make jokes, as Sawyer threatens him.

Rose and Bernard are making a sterile environment. Bernard reassures Rose that Jack will be ok, an appendectomy is harder to say with a mouth full of mushrooms than perform on a beach. Rose says that she wasn’t thinking about that, she was worried WHY he got sick. Perhaps it’s because cellulose isn’t such a big part of our diet anymore. Bernard reckons its bad luck. The day before we’re supposed to get rescued? Says Rose. Now hold the phone, who said they were getting rescued tomorrow? This is the first I’ve heard about it all season. UGH!!! Eddie and Adam are the worst writers on Lost, they always screw something up. I know the season finale’s one episode away, and presumably the Oceanic 6 get rescued this season and thanks to Rose’s foreshadowing, ah cheers, now we know there’ll be a rescue attempt the next day. Spoilers! To be fair, though they wrote 6 episodes in 8 weeks whilst doing all sorts of stuff. I guess they were just badly rushed. Crikey, let’s get back to the point. Rose reckons there’s trouble afoot (what a bizarre word), people don’t get ill on the island, they get better. Except Ben, who had a tumour suddenly. Yeah Rose, there’s no point bringing attention to the bizarre circumstances of Jack’s illness as that definitely won’t get explained as all it is is just a stupid plot device to create tension with Kate and Juliet over Jack. Boring.

Juliet is shaving Jack’s chest. The last time she did an appendectomy was in her residency. Jack decides he wants to be awake during the surgery. Juliet doesn’t think that’s logistically possible, but he doesn’t care. Use a mirror if you have to, oh and er, I fancy Kate at the moment, get her to hold it.

FLASHFORWARD to Jack in his stride at St Sebastian's. He glimpses Christian Shepherd. Before he can confront him, an annoying colleague, who played Hawkins’ wife in Jericho, pesters him for some signatures or whatnot. Before they can disappear and make sweet *sweet* love on the operating table, or alternatively and most likely continue their discussion, they are interrupted by another employee, saying Dr Stillman is on hold for Jack. His friend at Santa Rosa is in need of visitation.

Cut to Jack walking along the corridor at the Mental Home. Dr Stillman tells him that ‘he’ is refusing to take his meds and has stopped sleeping. Therapy has been rendered useless because the patient doesn’t think the Doctor exists. Here I was hoping that as they weren’t revealing the patient’s name it would be John Locke, under an assumed name, sat there saying over and over ‘I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong’ Instead it’s mega-anti-climatic as it’s just Hurley. Booo! Jack asks him why he’s stopped taking his meds. Hurley says it’s because they are dead. All of the Oceanic 6 are dead and never got off the island. Now if someone starts believing these words I’m going to slap them. If they were dead, why would Sayid work for Ben? Jack says that isn’t true. Well played. Hurley asks Jack what he did today. Jack woke up, showered, fed the baby. Hurley interrupts to say, hang on, I thought you didn’t fancy her.

Jack says he changed his mind after the trial. Hurley thinks this over and decides Jack’s life is too good to be true. Just like heaven. Jack says that just because he’s happy doesn’t mean that it’s not real. Hurley says that he was happy until he started seeing things that weren’t there. Like Charlie. Jack asks what they talk about. Hurley says that Charlie said that Jack would visit him today. Impressive. Even more impressive is the message that Charlie made Hurley write down for when he came. Hurley pulls open his drawer and takes it out. It says ‘You’re not supposed to raise him, Jack’ Jack reacts badly to this and screws up his face and begins pacing the room. Who is ‘him’?? What do they mean by ‘raise’?? My first take on this is that Jack had been trying to raise Christian from the dead, but common sense and Richard Malkin’s palm reading says ‘raise’ means ‘nurture’ and ‘him’ means ‘Aaron’ Ugh, him is not a good choice of noun, it’s a pronoun. It only works after the noun being referred to has been mentioned. Jeez! Jack says it doesn’t make any sense, but his body language says it does. Hurley asks if Charlie means Aaron. Aah wicked, he picked up on the ambiguity. You know what, Hurley, why the FUCK didn’t you ask him when he made you write it???? FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!! UGH!! Jack tells Hurley to take his meds. Jack looks terrified as he says it. Jack makes to leave, but as he does, Hurley warns him that Charlie said someone’s going to be visiting him, too. SOON.

The volunteers find the Staff station and open it. Charlotte strides in confidently, but is waylaid (my, my phrasing gets stranger by the paragraph) by Daniel who chivalrously volunteers to go ahead of her, in case of dragons or rancors. Stunned by this kindness, Charlotte lets him.

Sun and Jin wonder aloud if Charlotte knows Daniel fancies her. They agree that Charlotte does know. Wow, what a tease. Charlotte flicks her head towards them in a blink and you miss it smile, which by the looks of Jin’s perturbed face, he picked up on.

Wait a minute? Charlotte speaks Korean? She doesn’t understand basic French after working in Tunisia, but comprehends Korean somehow. All linguists can understand a bit of French. The enter the secret room. Daniel wonders aloud where all the powers coming from. Charlotte says that’s another one for the list. Sun reminisces about the baby machine that told her she was going to die because Jin couldn’t resist those urges. No offence to Yunjin Kim, but I wouldn’t have had any trouble, there’s plenty of other island poontang to go around. Sun warns Jin that Charlotte and Daniel aren’t going to help them. Then the stupid subtitles obscure Charlotte’s nice arse. Jin calms Sun down and Charlotte earwigs them.

In the forest, Claire stumbles and Miles offers to help. This sets Sawyer off. Yeah, I didn’t see YOU offering to help, JAMES. They hear something and Sawyer cocks his weapon[sic]. It’s just harmless old Lapidus with a first aid kit. He warns them all that Keamy’s coming back and they need to hide – NOW! They do, and Frank stays out in the open. The soldiers arrive. One is badly injured, and yes, that wanker Keamy’s there. I hate the name Keamy. First it doesn’t register on spell check, and second it sounds almost appetising, like creamy. How is this knob not dead, what does Smokie have to do? Aaron hiccups, attracting the attention of, oh, everybody.

Frank grows anxious and tries to cajole them all to getting back to the helicopter. After a really well directed (and written [I guess]) bit of tension, Keamy decides to go back to the helicopter. We breathe a sigh of relief. If Hurley doesn’t ride over him in the Dharma van, I’m quitting this show.

Back on the bee-yotch, Juliet asks Kate to help with the surgery. Jack bustles out of the tent stupidly. Kate helps him to the operating tent, which I didn’t even know they had. Kate says it looks like he’s going to have her as his nurse and he laughs. I’m serious. He must have farted or something because it was not funny. I’m losing a lot of interest in this episode and I’m hoping Jack dies, because that will be the ultimate mindfuck and people will be wondering how he could possibly be alive in the flashforwards.

Speaking of which, FLASHFORWARD to Jack sitting sullenly in his car. He gets home and wakes a slumbering Kate from her…slumber. She asks Jack what’s wrong. He says that he is bothered by how Kate described him as a natural, reading to Aaron. He asks her if she honestly thinks he is good at this. She does. Jack proposes to her. Didn’t see that coming. I’m really surprised, actually. Kate says yes. But it’s not going to end well…

The Staff volunteers return with all the supplies and Juliet goes into action. Jin pulls Charlotte aside. He speaks to her in Korean and she acts like she can’t understand. Jin tells her that if she continues to lie he will break Daniel’s fingers one by one. She starts talking in Korean. He makes her promise that she will take Sun, at any or every cost. Sun has to be on the helicopter. Charlotte kinda says yes.

In the operating tent, Juliet is preparing, and Bernard recommends Jack be knocked out. Jack says he’ll be fine. Kate is there to hold the mirror so Jack can see Bernard injecting him. Juliet cuts him open. Jack winces

He starts getting stressed which visibly irritates Juliet. This wasn’t her stupid idea. He worries that he can’t see and Juliet says forget about the mirror, he’s lying open bleeding at the moment! Jack gets even more distressed and Juliet gives Bernard the OK to knock Jack out. The dialogue goes: ‘Kate’ ‘Kate, you need to leave, Bernard’ ‘Kate’ ‘Kate, you need to go, Bernard! Kate, get out of here! Bernard!’ ‘Jack’ ‘Kate, Kate! Get out of here! BERNARD DAMMIT!’ ‘Jack!!’ Eventually Jack goes unconscious and

FLASHFORWARDS to him on his late night, recording his diction in a Dictaphone, when there’s an irritating beeping. Here I thought, omg, Christian Shepherds going to appear and talk to Jack, then Jack will listen to the tape and hear Christian and the episode will be hailed as awesome, but no, he turns it off and then stops the smoke detector beeping. Then Christian calls out Jack’s name. Jack slowly walks over to Christian. Walk faster, dammit, it’s only a matter of time before you’re interrupted by a stupid annoying colleague. Christian sits forward to speak to Jack. Then they’re interrupted by a stupid annoying colleague. Jack looks back at where Christian was sitting but it’s empty. Jack breaks down and the annoying colleague just watches. Jack stutters and murmurs, looking really bad. Then if he couldn’t make things any worse, he cries. The colleague, Erica rolls her eyes and makes to leave, but Jack asks her for a prescription of Clonazepam (unsure of the spelling). Ohhhhh So It Begins INDEED. Erica writes him one. She advises him to talk to someone and Jack says he will (lying)

Jack comes home to hear his fiancé say ‘I’ll just get the nanny to stay a few hours…Jack’s never home before 8 anyway…I can stay for at least an hour’ Jack jangles his keys – IDIOT. Kate quickly hangs up and says that Jack scared her. Wow, Kate you are making a great job of looking innocent so far. Then she turns around. Well I’m sold – I love you Katherine Ann Austen-Shephard

Jack asks who was it. Kate says pours water in a glass and says it was Noreen. A name Jack’s never heard of. Kate looks at the fridge and says that Noreen is one of the mothers at the Day Care Centre. She asks him what’s wrong. Jack says:

Kate goes off to the bedroom and Jack looks miserable. Then he goes to the fridge and pours himself a glass. Then his eyes go round and he drops the glass dramatically. The glass breaks in slow motion and the camera does an extreme close up of the manufacturers print on the bottom of the glass: Noreen Glassblowers. They cut to Jack’s face looking shocked and then something amidst the scattered papers on the fridge catches his eye. A paper from The Day Care Centre. Jack frantically runs upstairs to find that Kate has made off with all his possessions and all this time was using a fake name and she turned out to be the Keyser Soze behind the curtain. Unfortunately, none of this happens. This episode keeps disappointing me over and over again. Jack scoffs his pills with a beer.

In the forest by the dangerously vigorous campfire, Claire awakes to find Aaron missing. But it’s ok, he’s being rocked by Christian Shepherd. Wow, he’s all over the place. Claire simply asks ‘Dad?’

Kate is pouting miserably outside the tent. Bernard comes out to console her, saying everything’s fine and she can go in. She does. Juliet is stitching Jack back up. Juliet classily apologises for yelling, then admits Jack kissed her. She asserts that it wasn’t meant for her, it was meant to prove to Jack that he loved someone else. Kate thanks her and leaves. Juliet curtly tells Jack that she knows he’s awake, and Jack play acts that he just woke up.

FLASHFORWARD to Jack sitting in Kate’s armchair, miserably. Kate arrives and they greet each other. From the bottles on the table, we can see Jack is very drunk. Kate wants to know what's up with Jack. Jack says that he went to see Hurley. Kate is surprised, Jack should have told her and she would have come. Jack laughs (for some reason) and tells her that Hurley is crazy and he would have upset her. Probably say something like ‘You’re not supposed to raise him, Kate’. Jack asks her where she was. She asks him to trust her. Why would he? He asks her again. She tells him to ‘don’t’. He wants to know who she was on the phone to last night. She tells him to just let it go. Never say that to Jack, mate, that’s a red rag to a bull. Jack says to wants to know. ‘TELL ME!’ he shouts. She says that she was doing something for him. For who? For Sawyer. Jack looks confused. Kate says something, and after rewatching 4 times it seems she said that she made him a promise. Jack looks very confused and says ‘what?’ Kate says it doesn’t matter and it has nothing to do with them as a couple. Jack then asks why she won’t tell him, and she says that Sawyer wouldn’t want her to. Jack points out that Sawyer isn’t here, Sawyer chose to stay, Jack’s the one who came back, the one who’s here, the one who saved her (as he may be listing these feats in chronological order, he is probably referring to saving her from a life in prison, rather than to an as yet unseen tribulation where Kate requires saving on the island. Then again, Jack’s saved Kate’s ass more times than Sawyer’s tapped it, so…) Kate has a random halo over her head

Kate tells Jack he can’t do this, and he has problems he needs to figure out, because it’s not good for her son. And thank god for Jack as he says ‘Your son?? You’re not even related to him!!!’ (He leaves out the bit where he says ‘and I am!’) This happy moment is disturbed by Aaron, who has is wide awake and obscuring his face with a killer whale so there is an opportunity for him to be played by another actor when the current one is too old. Jack looks heartbroken and leaves humiliated.

Sawyer wakes up in the forest. Miles wishes him a good morning and Sawyer says it’s way too early for Chinese. Erm, Sawyer, you killed Anthony Cooper, now you don’t have to be a knob anymore. He sees that Claire is gone, probably going for a wee…with her child, get a brain, Sawyer. Miles says that Claire just walked off into the jungle. Sawyer looks shaken. He asks when, and Miles tells him in the middle of the night. Sawyer criticises him for letting her go alone. Miles tells him that she wasn’t alone, she was with a guy named Christian Shephard. Jack’s dad? Sawyer asks. That’s odd, says Miles, she called him Dad too. Then BANG end of episode. But none of that happens, which would have been AWESOME, Miles only refers to Christian as her dad. Miles smartly tries to say he would have followed them, but Sawyer told him not to go near her. Not the time to be smart, Miles. Sawyer is about to shoot him, but he hears the comforting sound of Aaron crying. He runs towards it and finds Aaron stashed at the bottom of the tree. He picks him up and starts shouting for the spookily absent Claire.

LOST

Grading: C+

Interesting points raised: Jack doesn’t have a scar from the appendectomy in the future. Was that just a stupid mistake because the second half of the season has been rushed? Or it is like some deliberate thingy set up so they can show proof that travelling from the island can make your body revert to a younger shape

Perhaps this episode is clueing us up to what happens in the future, we won’t see Claire until season 5 as Sawyer bears Aaron up to the beach, and Kate takes over as surrogate and takes him off the island. Sawyer chooses to stay and find Claire. We now have a good idea why Jack is how he is in the series 3 flashforward.

The cast list for next week looks awesome. That is the only spoiler I’ve allowed myself to read, and Dickie Alpers, Creepy-Eyes Abbadon, Hozzaz Nicepace, and Jack’s dad are all in the episode

Other than that, there isn’t very much to discuss, so discuss other matters like why does Hugo refuse to explain why he’s called Hurley? What did Eko mean by ‘worse’ when Jin asked if he was married, where the hell’s the Hurley bird?