Thursday 3 April 2008

Blood on the Shop Floor: Part Five

From the creator of Blood on the Shop Floor: Part Three

comes: Blood on the Shop Floor: Part Five

SCENE 1: THE STORE’S MENS SECTION WHERE DOREEN, OSCAR, ANA, MARIGOLD, SHABANA, RAMSEY, DOMINIK, ISIS AND PARDEEP ARE SAT DUMBSTRUCK ABOUT DAVID’S SUICIDE. KHUS AND BLAKE STRIDE DETERMINEDLY INTO THE GROUP.

KHUS: Has anyone seen Ibrahim?

BLAKE (SLIGHTLY LOUDER): Has anyone seen Ibrahim?

PARDEEP: Yeah, yeah, he went down to the customer toilets

ANA: But Lauren went in there…

KHUS: But that must mean…oh my ne-

KHUS BREAKS OFF CONVERSATION TO RUN AFTER THE DISTRESSED DAMSEL

MARIGOLD: Khus wait!

KHUS: What?

ANA: David killed himself

KHUS IS SILENT

KHUS (SIGHS LIKE SOME ACTION HERO IN A TRAILER): One crisis at a time

BLAKE: Let’s make it hap’n Cap’n

THEY RUN OFF

MARIGOLD: Wow, Khus is kinda sexy when he’s all heroic and running and that

SHABANA: Innit, s’like some kind of action hero

DOREEN: I bet he’s really muscly underneath the white shirt.

ANA: God, imagine him in the rain

ISIS: It’d get all see through

DOMINIK: Alllllll riiiight…giggidi

MARIGOLD: Wait, you saw Lauren go into the same toilet Ibrahim’s in?

ANA: No we both left the staffroom and she said she was going to the customer toilets. If Ibrahim was in there, she’d just wait or go to another toilet.

DOREEN: Let’s change the subject.

SCENE 2: THE TOILETS. LAUREN IS STILL SCREAMING.

IBRAHIM: Shut it up for a sec

LAUREN JUMPS OFF THE SEAT AND PULLS UP HER JEANS. IBRAHIM ADVANCES ON LAUREN

IBRAHIM: Steady…

LAUREN: aaaaaaaaaaaa

LAUREN ELBOWS IBRAHIM IN THE FACE AND RUNS TO THE DOOR TO UNLOCK IT. IBRAHIM NURSES HIS FACE. LAUREN RUNS OUT AND DECIDES TO HIDE IN THE VISUAL AND BABY STOCKROOM. SHE CLOSES THE DOOR BEHIND HER. IT’S PITCH BLACK. SHE BUMPS INTO A MANNEQUIN AND FALLS OVER. SHE DECIDES TO TURN ON THE LIGHT. NOW THE ROOM IS ILLUMINATED, SHE SEES THAT THE SUPPOSED MANNEQUIN IS JUST A LEG FORM, BUT INSTEAD OF A MANNEQUIN’S BODY ON TOP IT IS THE TOP HALF OF OLA THE CAMP VISUAL’S BODY WITH A FEY SCREAMING EXPESSION OF HIS DEAD FACE. HIS BODY IS GLUED TO LEG FORM BY HIS DRIED BLOOD. LAUREN TAKES THIS IN. IT’S HALF MANNEQUIN, HALF CORPSE. IT TAKES FOUR SECONDS BEFORE SHE GETS UP AND SCREAMS. SHE RUNS DEEPER IN AND FINDS THAT THE SAME THING HAS HAPPENED TO EMMA THE VISUAL SUPERVISOR. LAUREN SCREAMS LOUDER AND TURNS INTO THE BABY STOCKROOM WHERE SHE SEES MARGARET THE BABY SUPERVISOR LYING DEAD AGAINST A RACK WITH A BULLET HOLE IN HER DEAD HEAD. LAUREN SCREAMS MADLY AGAIN AND AGAIN.

KHUS BLASTS THROUGH THE DOOR AND TAKES THIS ALL IN. LAUREN IS STILL SCREAMING. HE PUNCHES HER IN THE FACE BRUTALLY. LAUREN CALMS DOWN

LAUREN: (GASPING)…Ibrahim!

BLAKE, WHO HAS ENTERED BEHIND KHUS, CARRIES LAUREN OUT WHILE KHUS GOES OFF TO CATCH IBRAHIM.

SCENE 3: KHUS IS INTREPIDLY LOOKING AROUND THE BABY FITTING ROOM. HE PULLS BACK CURTAIN ONE WITH A GASP. THERE’S NOTHING THERE. HE PULLS BACK CURTAIN TWO WITH A GASP. THERE’S NOTHING THERE. THE MUSIC (HIGH STRINGS) GETS VERY TENSE AS HE GULPS AS HE’S BEHIND FITTING ROOM CURTAIN NUMBER THREE. HE PULLS BACK THE CURTAIN. MUSIC GETS BLOODY ANNOYINGLY TENSE…

THERE’S NOTHING THERE. KHUS BREATHES A SIGH OF RELIEF.

HE LOOKS IN THE CUSTOMER TOILET. IT IS EMPTY. HE INSPECTS IT THOROUGHLY. IT IS EMPTY. THERE’S NO IBRAHIM HIDING.

KHUS TIPTOES QUIETLY INTO THE BACK HALL WAY WHERE THE EMPLOYEE TOILETS AND KIDS STOCKROOM IS LOCATED. KHUS GULPS AGAIN. HE UNHOOKS THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER WITH ONE HAND DEFTLY AND WEILDS IT LIKE ONE WOULD A WEAPON. HE BITES HIS LIP AND WIPES A BEAD OF SWEAT OFF HIS HEAD. HE BACKS INTO THE OLD ACCESSORIES STOCKROOM. IT’S CLEAR. HE CHECKS IN THE TWOSIES TOILET. IT’S CLEAR. MUSIC STARTS BUILDING AGAIN AS HE CHECKS ONESIES. HE GULPS AS HE GOES INTO THE KIDS STOCKROOM.

THERE’S NO ONE THERE. KHUS COMES BACK TO KHUS AND LAUREN.

KHUS: You have to tell me, Lauren, what was Ibrahim doing?

BLAKE: She says that he was spying on her going to the toilet.

LAUREN: Where is he?

KHUS: That’s what we’d all like to know. The good news is he can’t escape. The bad news is neither can we…Blake, go to the manager’s office; I’m going to escort Lauren back to her friends.

SCENE 4: BLAKE PROCEEDS TO THE MANAGERS OFFICE AND LETS HIMSELF IN. ONLY HE AND KHUS KNOW THE CODE. THERE ARE A LOT OF BODIES IN THE BACK, NOW. HE LOOKS MOURNFULLY AT MATT’S AND ANIS’. HE DOES THE SIGN OF THE CROSS ACROSS HIS CHEST AS HE STARES AT DELICIA AND LOIC. HE STUDIES DELICIA AND LOIC. IT’S VERY SIMPLE. THEY HAVE BEEN SHOT. HE GOES OVER THE DEAD MANAGER AND STUDIES THE EXPRESSION ON HER FACE. IT ISN’T SCARED OR SHOCKED. SHE JUST LOOKS ANGRY AS USUAL. BLAKE STROKES HIS LIP AND INSPECTS HER BODY. HE FINDS SOME DARK HAIRS, VARYING IN LENGTH ON HER BODY. SOME OF THE HAIRS ARE LONG. OTHERS ARE TOO SHORT TO BE HER OWN. HE NOTICES A FEW HAIRS LIGHTER THAN THE DARKER HAIRS. HE EXAMINES THE BACK OF HER HEAD. HE DOESN’T LIKE WHAT HE SEES. HE TENTATIVELY TOUCHES THE BLOOD. SOME HAS NOT TURNED BROWN YET. IT’S GOOEY AND BRIGHT RED KHUS ENTERS AND SEES THIS.

KHUS: Examining the bodies? Let me join you. Have you noticed how frenzied the stabs are on Anis’ body? Something tells me that this was a passionate kill.

BLAKE: Well who would kill Anis passionately? Who would hate him with such fervour?

KHUS: That’s an interesting question, Blake. If we are to assume that it was a crime of passion, my first instinct is that it was Lauren.

BLAKE: I thought that too.

KHUS: Notice how often Anis would make comments about her? True he did so about Ramsey, Matt, Shafa, and Shabana, but he definitely took a sadistic desire in laughing at Lauren

BLAKE: I’ve spent enough time with Lauren to know that she’s not a killer.

KHUS: True, and if we take into account this attack of Ibrahim’s, if she was the killer she would surely defend herself against him.

BLAKE: Well if we assume that Anis was killed by a different person to who killed Delicia, Loic and all…

KHUS: Or, at least under different circumstances…

BLAKE: We can make the case that it was Lauren who killed Anis, and wasn’t able to defend herself against Ibrahim because she did not have a knife handy.

KHUS: But then again…a knife…it’s very risky to use a knife and kill someone, not to mention messy. Ever seen Leon? It’s about a hit man; he mentions that the knife is the last weapon to train someone in as it is the hardest weapon to use.

BLAKE: But Khus, a knife is much more accessible than a gun.

KHUS: We’re going to be here all night. Who else did I just mention? Shafa, Matt, Shabana, and Ramsey

BLAKE: Matt didn’t kill Anis; he killed himself BECAUSE Anis died.

KHUS: I can’t see any concrete evidence for that. Don’t assume. It makes an ass out of you

BLAKE: And me

KHUS: Exactly. Shafa was unconscious, so it wasn’t her.

BLAKE: Hey, you’re assuming

KHUS: I’m trying to solve a murder, give me a break

BLAKE: You reckon it was either Shabana or Ramsey

KHUS: I don’t think Anis’ lewd joke about Ramsey getting together with Lauren because ‘she wanted chocolate’ or his dig at Shabana for making a crap joke was strong enough for them to stab him to death…we’re assuming this is a crime of passion remember?

BLAKE: Dammit. But I think we’re forgetting someone

KHUS: I know, myself, right? Well I was with you that whole time.

BLAKE: Yeah, that’s true

BLAKE TURNS AROUND. HIS EYES LOOK SEARCHINGLY AROUND THE OFFICE. HE SPOTS SOME TABLETS ON THE SHELF.

BLAKE: Khus, look at this, tamoxifen.

KHUS: That’s for cancer

BLAKE: Do you reckon she had…oh wait there’s more…epinephrine?

KHUS: That’s got the same effect as adrenaline

BLAKE: I know, my mum’s a doctor, look another – amoxicillin.

KHUS: That’s an antibiotic…I think for VD

BLAKE: You’re not wrong….here’s one more hydrogen peroxide…in suppository form

KHUS: That’s bleach. Who on earth would prescribe that in suppository form? Hand me that bottle

BLAKE HANDS HIM THE BOTTLE

KHUS (READING): Dr S A Campbell.

BLAKE: Er hang on…

KHUS: Sabrina Anne Campbell

BLAKE: Who used to work here? She prescribed her pills? She never said anything about helping her.

KHUS: I guess you could explain that with doctor patient confidentiality

BLAKE: And yet she told everybody about Aneta’s urinary tract infection

KHUS: I think she may have wanted to keep this private for other reasons…a cancer pill, adrenaline, a VD tablet and bleach? I think she was trying to poison her.

BLAKE’S EYES WIDEN

KHUS: That is a serious breach of the Hippocratic Oath.

BLAKE: Well, that’s interesting but she was shot, not poisoned. Do you think this is important?

KHUS: I don’t know…but I would like to know where that gun is.

BLAKE: I’m thinking you should be ordering that everybody shows you their lockers!

KHUS: Wait I think we’re ignoring the proverbial elephant in the room here. Ola, Emma, and Margaret.

BLAKE: Oh yes, I almost forgot.

KHUS: Some sick bastard sliced Ola and Emma’s bodies in half somehow and with a sick sense of humour placed their corpses on a mannequin’s leg form so they looked like mannequins in the dark. Margaret was shot. This is definitely the same killer as everyone else who’s been shot.

BLAKE: Do you reckon this incident is connected to when John lost his right leg last Sunday?

FLASHBACK

JOHN IS IN THE VISUAL ROOM HOLDING THE BOTTOM HALF OF A MANNEQUIN. ONE OF ITS LEGS IS MISSING.

JOHN: Oh shit, I’ve lost my right leg

THEN HE CLUMSILY KNOCKS A RACK WITH GLASS PANES BALANCING ON IT, WHICH WOBBLES CAUSING A PANE TO FALL OFF AND SLICE HIS RIGHT LEG OFF.

BACK TO KHUS AND BLAKE

KHUS: No, I think that matter was fairly solved

BLAKE: Yeah, hope he get’s better

KHUS: I’m going to carry out this idea of searching lockers, in any case we should be able to find some clues

SCENE 5: IN THE STORE’S MEN’S SECTION. SHABANA, OSCAR, RAMSEY, PARDEEP, LAUREN, ANA, MARIGOLD, DOREEN, DOMINIK AND ISIS. THEY ARE JOINED BY KHUS AND BLAKE. ISIS RUNS OVER TO BLAKE.

ISIS: Oh my god, I was so worried, it’s Ibrahim isn’t it? Where is he, I thought he would have killed you like he tried to kill Lauren.

BLAKE: We’re fine

KHUS: Yes, we’re fine, is everybody else ok?

DOREEN: We’re fine

LAUREN: Ugh, speak for yourself, I can’t believe that *weirdo* that was so random! Why haven’t you caught him?

KHUS: Yes well, we’ll be opening soon, he’ll get flushed out and caught, don’t worry. Until then I’d like to have a look through your lockers.

LAUREN: Um, why?? We already know it’s Ibrahim

BLAKE: Khus thinks he isn’t working alone.

LAUREN: What??

ANA: Yeah, what??

PARDEEP: He ain’t got a clue

ISIS: Oh my god I’m so scared, who killed Ola, Margaret and Emma?

KHUS: There are about 5 Emmas

ISIS: I obviously mean…

KHUS: Look, come on everybody, the sooner you show me your lockers the sooner we can put this to bed.

SHABANA: Wait, there are two killers? Is it definitely Ibrahim?

KHUS: We can’t say for sure, but if he is, he wasn’t working alone. Who was his buddy again?

MARIGOLD: Ramsey

KHUS: Hmmm, Ramsey

RAMSEY: Ah?

KHUS: Take me to your locker.

RAMSEY: Ummm…

SCENE 6: EVERYBODY IS ASSEMBLED BY THE LOCKERS. RAMSEY IS THE FIRST TO OPEN HIS LOCKER. BLAKE AND KHUS INSPECT IT WITH A SENSE OF URGENCY.

BLAKE: No gun.

KHUS: I’m starting to think Ibrahim might be innocent. He was buddied up with Ramsey when Delicia and Loic got shot. If he shot them, why would Ramsey cover?

RAMSEY: Exactly

KHUS: Ramsey, the way you can look at it is that if you’re innocent, Ibrahim’s innocent. Likewise if Ibrahim’s guilty, you are too.

LAUREN: Er are you absolutely stupid??

DOREEN: You know what I mean?

OSCAR: Guys, come on

MARIGOLD: We’ve been saying it from the beginning, it’s Ibrahim! So if that makes Ramsey guilty then so he is!

KHUS: Well, let’s not count all our eggs put in one basket before they hatch or the chicken came first.

MARIGOLD: What? Sorry you mentioned chicken, is it because I’m black?

KHUS: I’m saying you should show me your locker.

MARIGOLD: I can’t, I lost my key

KHUS: How convenient

LAUREN: No, it’s true it’s been missing for about three months

KHUS: Ok, seeing as we’re in the area, show me your locker, Lauren.

LAUREN UNLOCKS HER LOCKER. THERE IS A MESS OF CLOTHES AND A LIBRARY OF DVDS AND SWEETS.

BLAKE: Khus, there’s a lot of clothes here

KHUS: I can see that.

LAUREN: Um those are my own, for when I change…I’m not the thief.

SHABANA: There was a thief?

LAUREN: Didn’t Guiliana or Kelly tell you?

SHABANA: They never tell me nothing, innit

KHUS: Let me see your locker, Shabana

SHABANA SHOWS HIS HER LOCKER. NOTHING TOO REMARKABLE, SOME GAP BADGES, A BIRO, A NECKLACE, A DEAD PHONE. DOMINIK LOOKS UNHAPPY FOR SOME REASON.

KHUS: Doreen could I see yours, please

DOREEN OPENS HERS. THERE ARE SOME BOTTLES OF PERFUME. KHUS OPENS THEM TO SMELL. HE SEES AN UNMARKED GLASS BOTTLE. KHUS OPENS IT AND SNIFFS IT. HE WRINKLES HIS NOSE.

KHUS: Blake, smell this

BLAKE HAS A SNIFF

BLAKE: Vodka?

ANA: That would be Isis’ locker

DOREEN: No, it’s bleach.

BLAKE SHARES A LOOK WITH KHUS.

KHUS: What are you doing with bleach in your locker?

DOREEN: I don’t like normal nail polish remover, I prefer bleach instead.

KHUS: Right…well I hope you don’t ever get an itch in your eye…Isis, I’d like to see your locker.

BLAKE: They’d be nothing there

KHUS: Just open it, Isis

ISIS: Sorry, Blake, I better

ISIS OPENS HER LOCKER. INSIDE ARE STACKS OF PAPERS. KHUS PULLS ONE AT RANDOM

KHUS (READING): My dear I-sis-ter Soldier, roses are red, pimples are yellow, I’m longing for when, we can meet and say hello. Love, Blake.

EVERYBODY LOOKS AT BLAKE.

MARIGOLD: You love Isis?

ISIS: No…we love each other.

ISIS TAKES THE INITIATIVE AND SNOGS BLAKE

ANA: Omg, how long’s this been going on?

ISIS: Since Louisa’s leaving party

LAUREN: Oh FUCK off, you didn’t even work here back then.

BLAKE: I know Frankie innit from way back.

ISIS: Plus Junaid used to be my dealer,

BLAKE: They invited us to the same club and we just hit it off

LAUREN: But what about the footballer you were going out with? And that five night stand you were going on about?

ISIS: Blake, wanted to keep it secret.

BLAKE: I only started working here because she invited me.

ANA: Well I’m happy for the both of you

KHUS: Well things certainly are clearer…um Ana, show me your locker

ANA: Fine

ANA OPENS HER LOCKER. IT CONTAINS HER HANDBAG. KHUS LOOKS INSIDE IT. HE FINDS A BOTTLE OF PILLS. HE SEES WHAT THEY ARE CALLED AND LOOKS SURPRISED

KHUS: What’s this?

ANA: Amoxicillin…I sometimes get rashes. Amoxicillin helps with it.

KHUS: And who prescribed this to you?

ANA: It says on the bottle

KHUS: Dr Sabrina Anne Campbell.

BLAKE: Was she a drug dealer or something?

ANA: Um, no she noticed I got rashes and prescribed me some.

KHUS: Blake, I’m smelling a rat here. I can’t figure out what yet. I think I have one missing puzzle piece left.

BLAKE: I think I agree

ANA: No, I’m totally innocent. Stop…

THINKS FOR A SECOND

…allegating me.

KHUS: Enough for now, Oscar show me yours

OSCAR: Alright, is nothing there, don’t worry

KHUS: Just open it.

OSCAR OPENS IT. THERE IS NOTHING THERE.

KHUS: Good. Now you Dominik.

DOMINIK: No, sorry, no, sorry, no

KHUS: OPEN IT!

DOMINIK DOES AS HE IS TOLD. EVERYBODY GASPS.

ISIS: My iPod!

MARIGOLD: My locker key!

OSCAR: The charity money!

LAUREN: My phone!

ANA: My ear rings!

LAUREN: Matt’s 100 pounds!

PARDEEP: It’s you??

BLAKE: You’re the thief??

OSCAR: Is him who is the thief!

SHABANA: Is this the Gap thief you were going on about?

DOMINIK LOOKS FURIOUS. HE IS SILENT.

MARIGOLD: Oh someone kill him.

KHUS: Everybody take back what’s yours. Everything except Matt’s money. We can add that to the charity money. Well, well, Dominik. Very disappointing

DOMINIK JUST FUMES SILENTLY.

KHUS: Right, well I’ll be keeping this key. Um Marigold, now you’ve got your key we can check it, but I’ll take your word for it.

MARIGOLD: You can check it if you want, I don’t mind.

KHUS: I’m sure it’ll be alright. I think the only other person left is myself, Blake and Ramsey. Let me show you mine.

KHUS OPENS HIS LOCKER. IT IS TOTALLY EMPTY EXCEPT FOR A TOP GEAR MAGAZINE.

BLAKE OPENS HIS. IT CONTAINS DEODORANT, JEWELLERY, BUT NOTHING INCRIMINATING.

KHUS: Pardeep?

PARDEEP SHOWS HIM HIS LOCKER. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A THOUSAND ELASTIC BANDS AND A FEW SHOELACES, IT’S UNREMARKABLE.

ANA: So that’s everyone’s locker, are you happy?

LAUREN: That’s not everyone.

KHUS: Shafa’s sleeping, I doubt it’s her.

MYSTERY PERSON IN DARKNESS: She means me

LAUREN SCREAMS. IT IS IBRAHIM.

IBRAHIM: Look I swear down now, I ain’t a bad person.

KHUS: You have a fuckload of explaining to do, you perverted cunt.

IBRAHIM: Look I’m going to come clean

LAUREN SCREAMS

IBRAHIM: Not in that way. Let me start by giving you my locker key.

HE HANDS IT OVER TO KHUS AND SHOWS HIM TO HIS LOCKER. KHUS OPENS THE LOCKER.

EVERYONE GASPS. THERE’S HUNDREDS OF NOTES OF MIXED CASH.

KHUS: How much is there?

IBRAHIM: Fifteen hundred pounds

KHUS: Where did you get that from.

IBRAHIM: Sorry, I’m not allowed to say, but you can see there’s no gun in there. The money’s not important.

KHUS: Right, this doesn’t add up. Why did you run away from me?

IBRAHIM: I was scared. Everyone thinks it’s me. It’s not. I swear on my mum’s life.

KHUS: What were you doing in the bathroom?

IBRAHIM: I just wanted someone to talk to.

LAUREN: What??

IBRAHIM: I like to hang about in there. So many people don’t notice me. I just wanted to confide in whoever came in.

BLAKE: Something really isn’t adding up here.

KHUS: Blake, I’m going to try and think. Stay with everybody here, make sure especially not to let Ibrahim out of your sight. If you have to, get Pardeep to watch him.

KHUS LEAVES AND ENTERS THE STAFF ROOM WHERE SHAFA’S SLEEPING.

KHUS SIGHS AND LOOKS AT THE VENDING MACHINES. HE CHANGES HIS MIND AND GOES TO THE FRIDGE. HE LOOKS AROUND IN THERE. HIS EYES REST ON A JAM JAR. HIS EXPRESSION CHANGES.

KHUS: Blake!!

BLAKE (SHOUTING FROM LOCKERS): What?

KHUS: Come here!

BLAKE ENTERS THE STAFFROOM.

KHUS: Blake, gather everybody up at the front of the store.

BLAKE: Why?

KHUS: We’re going to have one hell of a minute meeting.

BLAKE: Don’t tell me you’ve…

KHUS: That’s right. I’ve cracked it. I know the identity of the killer.

SO WHAT’S THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE JAM? WHO IS IT? FOR THE DEFINITE ANSWER, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LOG ON IN A WEEK’S TIME ON THURSDAY 10 APRIL FOR THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THE AWARD WINNING, CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED, WORLD FAMOUS, OVERWHELMINGLY POPULAR ‘BLOOD ON THE SHOP FLOOR’

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i can't beeeelieve that i'm dead!

and haha at who the thief is!