Blood on the Shop Floor: Part Four
SCENE 1: INT THE STORE’S MEN’S SECTION. KHUS AND BLAKE HAVE GONE TO THE MANAGER’S OFFICE TO COPE AND RE-EVALUATE KHUS’ DETECTING. SHAFA IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS IN THE STAFFROOM. EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT THE TRAGIC BRUTAL MURDER OF ANIS EXCEPT MATT, ISIS AND PARDEEP WHO HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP. DOMINIIK DECIDES TO BREAK IT TO MATT. THE THICK FOREIGN ACCENT IS RATHER HARD TO UNDERSTAND. DAVID, SHABANA, IBRAHIM, RAMSEY, LAUREN, OSCAR, DOREEN, ANA, AND MARIGOLD WATCH THIS UNFOLD.
DOMINIK: Matt…Matt…are you awaked?
MATT (SLEEPILY CONFUSED): Erect?
DOMINIK: Yes, you are, look…your friend has been forked
MATT (SLEEPILY CONFUSED): Fucked?
DOMINIK: Oh sorry, knifed, I, ah, forgot
MATT (SLEEPILY CONFUSED): A faggot?
DOMINIK: Yes, he’s been knifed, your friend Anis
MATT (SLEEPILY CONFUSED): Anus?
DOMINIK: Don’t panic, I should have go sit
MATT (SLEEPILY CONFUSED): Gusset?
DOMINIK: I go now…
MATT (SLEEPILY CONFUSED): Cleft?
SHABANA IMPATIENTLY TELLS MATT
SHABANA: Anis is dead, Matt, I’m sorry innit
MATT’S EYES WIDEN. WE HAVE A CAMERA ON HIM IN A LONG SHOT FROM 30 METRES DISTANCE.
THE CAMERA DOES A JUMP ZOOM OF 5 METRES WITH A SHARP DRAMATIC BURST OF BRASS INSTRUMENT
THE CAMERA DOES IT AGAIN, SO WE’RE NOW 20 METRES AWAY MAKING THE SAME NOISE.
15 METRES, LOUD BRASS NOISE, HOLD FOR ONE SECOND
10 METRES, LOUD BRASS NOISE, HOLD FOR ONE SECOND
15 METRES, LOUD BRASS NOISE, HOLD FOR ONE SECOND
20 METRES, LOUD BRASS NOISE
HOLD FOR A BEAT
THEN IN ONE SECOND
15 METRES, LOUD BRASS NOISE
10 METRES, LOUD BRASS NOISE
5 METRES, LOUD BRASS NOISE
CLOSE UP, LOUD BRASS NOISE,
PULL FOCUS ON MATT.
MATT: …Anis is dead? If he didn’t make it out of here alive, I can’t see myself making it out alive.
LAUREN: I’m starting to think none of us will
ANA: And what happens then if we do? How do we come back from here?
SHABANA: You should sue the store, innit, get some money
PARDEEP: Haha jokes
IBRAHIM: A good way to get money is to bet on the Special Olympics
SARCASTICALLY DOING THE SARCASTIC FINGER QUOTE THINGIES
IBRAHIM: Because “they’re ALL winners”
SOME PEOPLE LAUGH. A
ANA: What will you do?
ANA: Open a hairdressers?
MATT: You could call it Curl Up And Dye
LAUREN: Curl up and die??
MATT: Dye as in dye your hair
MATT: You can still curl can’t you?
DOMINIK: Some seconds til four o clock
MATT (SLEEPILY CONFUSED): What were you sucking?
DOMINIK: You know, when I’m retired, I would like to teach a choir
MATT (SLEEPILY CONFUSED): When you’re a retard you’ll touch a queer?
DOMINIK: With all the choir boys in the choir
MATT: You’re a sick man, you know that.
MATT: Oh my god. This is all my fault.
LAUREN: You don’t mean that, stop blaming yourself, fishing for compliments
MATT: No I do.
MATT: It was me
MATT: It was me who graffitied on the fridge…this is all my fault. If I hadn’t…If I hadn’t done that stupid thing, none of us would be here
PARDEEP: You’re a fucking prick
IBRAHIM: This is all your fault?
MATT: I know
IBRAHIM: If you hadn’t been so fucking stupid, we wouldn’t be trapped here like fucking mugs waiting to die like cunts
MATT: I know! I’m…I never thought this would happen just because of what I did
RAMSEY: Everyone is dead because of you
MATT: Hey! Not everyone!
RAMSEY: Yes, everyone you stupid little bastard…UGH!
A SURPRISINGLY VEHEMENT RESPONSE. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HE LIKED ANIS.
MATT: I’m so sorry, but she stresses me out so much, I thought just to graffiti, it would let her know that absolutely no one in the store likes her.
LAUREN: You’re such a loser.
MATT: Look it’s easy to blame me, but there is an actual killer killing people in the store, alright? And that’s not me
ANA: Well you definitely wouldn’t kill Anis.
MATT: Exactly. Of all the souls I ever knew, he was the most…goggle eyed
LAUREN: That’s true
MATT: Nor would I kill Delicia and Loic
PARDEEP: Who knows what you can do, you little shit.
MATT: Remember, as soon as you suspect someone, they die, like in that film ‘As Soon As You Suspect Someone, They Die’
DAVID (DRAMATICALLY): Bum bum bum…
MATT: I can just imagine what Anis would say right about now…(DOING A BAD IMPRESSION OF ANIS) Stop your lollygagging about with these impudent jackanapes, you blasted blowhards!
LAUREN: Because he always said that
RAMSEY: What time is it?
MARIGOLD: It’s 5 o clock
DOREEN: Just two more hours
OSCAR: Four more hours
OSCAR: It’s Sunday
MATT: That’s fucking ages
PARDEEP: No way out at all?
SHABANA: Who could have killed Anis, we were all here, innit?
IBRAHIM: I swear all of us were here
RAMSEY: Unless it was someone who could get away unnoticed
DAVID: Or someone else entirely
LAUREN: Someone else entirely?
ANA: Like who?
DAVID: I don’t know…Barbara, Gareth, Claire, Dave, Ali, Tobe, Rowena, Charlotte, Saad, Kat, Junaid, Shafa, Rachel, The Emma’s, Aneta, Magda, Cleo, Sabrina, Jason, Samir…
LAUREN: Ok, we get it, everyone wanted Anis to die, but how do you suppose they’ve been inside this store unnoticed?
DAVID: How did someone already in the store disappear unnoticed?
ANA: The only people we can really…
THINKS FOR A SECOND
ANA: …alibise are Khus, because he was talking and everybody was watching him, Blake and Oscar who were right next to him, I wasn’t concentrating on anybody else.
IBRAHIM: I think all of us were focusing on them. Who know’s you could have done it.
MATT: Yeah, Youssfe, I think we should keep a closer watch on YOU, out of everybody in this store, with the exception of Dominik because he’s a perverted wet fish, I can safely say that you have never done anything compassionate or humane for another human being
IBRAHIM: What do you want me to say, that I did it? For fuck’s sake…remember you suspect me, two minutes later I end up dead
MARIGOLD: I fail to see the downside
IBRAHIM: What the fuck, Marigold, why’r’u’b’n’a’li’l’ bitch for? I was holding onto Ramsey’s gay hand!
MARIGOLD: All I know is, one minute Delicia was suspecting you, the next, she’s dead with the man whose babies I wanted to have!
IBRAHIM: For fuck’s sake what do you people want from me? I’m fucking off to the staffroom
PARDEEP: No you stay here, what if some next man gets killed, then it’s definitely you innit, just stay with us, if anything happens, we’ll all know it wasn’t you
IBRAHIM: You’re all fucking dopey...yeah, even you, Wasteman, I’ve been staying here all this time, and still I get all these cunts thinking I’m some killer
MATT: Um, I’m not feeling these vibes at the moment, I want some space for a sec.
IBRAHIM: So he can leave, but in a minute, someone will be blatently dead
MARIGOLD: His best friend died!
LAUREN: Not for the first time at this store, too
IBRAHIM: Why, what happened?
LAUREN: It doesn’t matter, just let him go
MATT: Thanks everybody. I’ll be right back
MATT LEAVES THE GROUP
ANA: God it’s way too late to even travel home now…if I get home, my mum would throw a wobbler
SHABANA: Same with mine, innit
LAUREN: We don’t have to go home, we could go to a hotel
SHABANA: Holiday Inn
SCENE 2: MATT IS STANDING AT THE STAIRS. MATT KILLS HIMSELF TO HOUNDS OF LOVE BY THE FUTUREHEADS. DURING THE FIRST VERSE HE PULLS OUT THE STRING FROM A LARGE PLASTIC BAG. HE TIES A NOOSE AROUND HIS NECK AND TIES THE END TO THE BANNISTER. HE TAKES A SMALL WALK BACK. HE JUMPS FORWARD WHEN THE FUTUREHEADS SING ‘AMONGST YOUR HOUNDS OF LOVING/FEEL YOUR LOVE SURROUNDING ME’ HE FALLS IN SLOW MOTION AS THEY SING THE LYRIC ‘I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A COWARD’ HIS BODY JERKS TO THE ‘ER AH OH HO HOH’ RHYTHM THEY CHANT. HIS SHOES FALL OF WITH A PARTICULARLY VIOLENT
SCENE 3: THIRTY MINUTES LATER
DAVID: Where’s Matt, he should be back by now
IBRAHIM: He’s dead or killing people
LAUREN AND ANA: OI!
IBRAHIM: It’s true though, like in that film ‘He’s Dead or Killing People’
DAVID (DRAMATICALLY): Bum bum bum…
PARDEEP: Stop it you idiot
RAMSEY: Umm Blake wouldn’t want you to go on your own
RAMSEY FOLLOWS HER
RAMSEY: Good…so…you…like…it here?
RAMSEY: We kissed once
RAMSEY: You don’t remember?
RAMSEY: Right…um okay, well we did
RAMSEY: Well, I thought we could get close enough for me to tell you something
RAMSEY: Well, er, do you want to know a secret?
BEFORE RAMSEY CAN GET AN ANSWER,
KHUS LOOKS OVER THE BODY
KHUS: It wasn’t staged, this was a real suicide
IBRAHIM: Matt was so gay, you know
KHUS: Technically you found the first yesterday
BLAKE: Khus, I know what you’re thinking,
KHUS: You were with me, what do you know?
BLAKE: Um, fine, I just know her, she would never do anything like that
KHUS: I don’t think you can see her tiny body past your wang,
BLAKE: You’ve hit on it, her tiny body isn’t capable of anything like this, let’s cut him down and go back to the manager’s office
DAVID, WHO HAD ERSTWHILE BEEN STANDING AWKWARDLY IN THE MEN’S SECTION JOINS THE CROWD AND THE TRUTH DAWNS ON HIM
DAVID: Matt killed himself?
KHUS: I’m sorry, David, if you want to talk…
DAVID: No, I…I’m going to go to the staffroom for a sec, see if Shafa’s ok
DAVID GOES TO THE STAFFROOM
SCENE 4: THE STAFFROOM. SHAFA IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS. DAVID IS STANDING OVER HER WITH HIS HAND GENTLY ON HER CHEEK. HE STANDS UP STRAIGHT AND STANDS HUNCHED OVER THE SINK
DAVID: Ever since I won the lottery, (THAT’S NEWS TO ME) the ones I love have been dropping like magnetic flies reaching puberty with diarrhoea over an iron; first Annie; Annie; Ellie; Jess; Shafa unconscious; Anis; and now Matt. The only answer is to kill myself…that’s the only way it will stop!
DAVID FILLS UP A GLASS OF THE TAP WATER IN THE STAFFROOM. HE STARES AT IT FOR A FEW SECONDS DEBATING WHETHER TO DRINK IT AND END IT ALL. THEN HE DECIDES TO GO AHEAD. LAUREN AND ANA ENTER SEEING DAVID DRINK. THEY SEE THE TAP RUNNING AND REALISE WHAT DAVID IS DRINKING
LAUREN: David no!!
LAUREN’S CRY SURPISES DAVID AND CAUSES HIM TO CHOKE ON THE WATER. HE DROPS THE GLASS AND RETREATS INTO A CORNER CHOKING. ANA RUNS OVER TO DAVID TO SAVE HIM BUT HE’S DYING. SHE EMBRACES HIM AS HE COLLAPSES AND HE DIES IN HER ARMS
DAVID COUGHING GUTS OUT: Tell…Annie…Tell…Annie…she looked like the main character from Skins.
ANA LOOKS AT LAUREN IN SHOCK: You killed him…
LAUREN IS STUNNED: I killed him??
LAUREN: Wow, Matt meant that much to David?
ANA: It would certainly seem so.
LAUREN: This is one of the worst nights in this store’s history
ANA: One of? I think it has to be the worst. Delicia, Loic, Anis and Matt…and David
LAUREN: Frumps balances it out
LAUREN: No seriously, I’m kidding, we need to get out of here
ANA: Don’t worry it’s not your fault you killed him
LAUREN: Don’t say it like that!
ANA: It’ll only count as manslaughter
LAUREN: Oiiii-er, David was committing suicide, like Matt, it’s not my fault…don’t tell anyone what happened here, let’s just say we found him like this
LAUREN: This is not the time for falling out! Just stick to that story
LAUREN: Oh my god…what a night…Anis, then Matt, then David. The Three Stooges died…in the order of when they joined the store.
ANA: Technically one committed suicide, two were murdered
LAUREN: I’m telling you Ana…shut up about that, or you’ll get killed next.
SLIGHTLY TENSE MOMENT. IT’S CLEAR LAUREN IS NOT JOKING.
ANA: Well, we better break the news.
LAUREN: Yes I think we better had…give me a minute though
SCENE 4: THE MANAGERS OFFICE. ALL THE BODIES ARE STACKED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER BACK OFFICE. BLAKE SHUTS THE DOOR ON THEM AND TURNS TO KHUS WHO IS SITTING IN THE MANAGER’S CHAIR FURROWING HIS BROW AND STORKING HIS CHIN LOOKING PENSIVE.
KHUS: How utterly macabre.
BLAKE: Dude, you is one sombre hombre
KHUS: All this death is getting me down…I knew I could have done something to protect everybody, I’m just…oh god.
BLAKE: Come on, we’s got work to do
KHUS: The manager, Delicia, Loic, and Anis…what’s the connection?
BLAKE: I’m racking my brains, mate, I don’t know where you went wrong
KHUS: I really thought it was Anis, and now he’s dead
BLAKE: Are you alright, Khus? You’re shaking
KHUS: I’m fine, I just…Anis? If he’s not the killer…why on earth did he die? Surely the killer would keep him alive as a scapegoat for their innocence…why kill him as he is immediately marked as a suspect?
BLAKE: Did you notice how he died, too?
KHUS: I did, very…very observant of you, Blake, Anis was stabbed. Everybody else was shot.
BLAKE: Why alternate between weapons, man?
KHUS: The first three murders were very clean, almost professional.
KHUS: This killing is messy, there’s T stands knocked over, Anis almost got away, there’s blood all over the lift.
BLAKE: Why would they deviate?
KHUS: Either the purpose for Anis’ death was widely different, or there are two killers
BLAKE: Two killers? We don’t even have one suspect!
KHUS: On the contrary, everyone is a suspect…or the killer ran out of bullets so he had to stab him
BLAKE: Ran out of bullets?
KHUS: Occam’s Razor
BLAKE: Occam’s Razor?
KHUS: It means that…
BLAKE: I know what it means, does it really apply here?
KHUS: The theory in fiction is that it’s always the one we least suspect, but that’s to make a more shocking thriller, in real life, Occam’s Razor applies. (PAUSE) Sometimes how it looks…is exactly how it is…(DRAMATIC PAUSE)…get me Ibrahim!
SCENE 5 INT THE BABY FITTING ROOMS. FAME BY DAVID BOWIE IS PLAYING. A BLONDE GIRL COMES WALKING THROUGH AND ENTERS THE CUSTOMER TOILETS. SHE SHUTS THE DOOR BEHIND HER. SHE GOES UP TO THE SINK AND SPLASHES WATER ON HER FACE
LAUREN: Ugh…David…why? You loser…
LAUREN UNDOES HER JEANS AND SITS ON THE TOILET. HER EYES FLICKER TO HER LEFT AS SHE SEES THAT A SHADOWY FIGURE WAS HIDING BEHIND THE DOOR WAITING FOR HER. SHE SCREAMS. THE CAMERA STAYS ON HER FACE BUT PULLS BACK AND WE SEE WHO IT IS IN THE MIRROR
IT IS IBRAHIM.
DAMN, HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE? IS LAUREN GONNA GET RAPED? WHAT KIND OF FREAK HIDES IN THE CUSTOMER TOILETS? WILL I BE ABLE TO STRETCH THIS OUT FOR ANOTHER TWO EPISODES? FIND OUT, IN PART FIVE OF ‘BLOOD ON THE SHOP FLOOR’ RELEASED THURSDAY 3 APRIL.